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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556822">The Dawn that Rises Bloody</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallyACat/pseuds/BasicallyACat'>BasicallyACat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Devotion [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Canon, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Dumb boys being dumb, Explicit Language, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Miscommunication, POV Roronoa Zoro, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Roronoa Zoro is Bad At Feelings, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:54:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556822</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallyACat/pseuds/BasicallyACat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years was a lot of time.<br/>24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days, thousands of hours and endless heartbeats of time. Everything has to move forward, people grow and they change, time slides onward.</p><p>At 19, Zoro knew he was in love with Luffy. At Sabaody he thought maybe Luffy felt something too.<br/>At 21, Zoro knows he still is in Love with Luffy. At Sabaody again, two years of footsteps stretch between them, 104 weeks worth of stories, thousands of unshared struggles and millions of moments a heart could have changed. That brief moment of ‘maybe’ feels like a very long time ago, now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Monkey D. Luffy/Roronoa Zoro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Devotion [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>266</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the direct sequel to Unable Are the Loved to Die, I do suggest you read that first.<br/>Prologue is directly after the ending of Unable Are the Love to Die, Chapter 1 will be post time skip.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>“Rage, rage against the dying of the light”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Dylan Thomas</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He was falling.</p><p>
  <em>Flying?</em>
</p><p>Air rushed by his ears, his body weightless, the absence of anything solid beneath, above, or around him.</p><p>He was falling.</p><p>Zoro’s brain strained, blurred, tried to fight against the darkness. Pain. His body hurt; his head throbbed. His lungs struggled to expand; he couldn’t feel his legs at all.</p><p>
  <em>Did he still have legs?</em>
</p><p>Copper filled his mouth, liquid gurgled in the back of his throat with each dragged breath.</p><p>Was he falling? Or was he drowning?</p><p>Agony ripped from the base of spine and his mind retreated- dived back into the dark to escape.</p><p> </p><p>F</p><p>A</p><p>L</p><p>L</p><p>I</p><p>N</p><p>G</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Luffy?</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gravity found him with a vengeance. Air shot from his body, a horrible sound wrenching from his throat as his mind was brutally wrenched back into the physical world. His eyes shot open as his body crashed into the dirt, rocks and debris digging into aching bones.</p><p>A dark sky greeted him from the edges of a crater.</p><p>His vision blurred, black spots creeping from the corners. Everything smeared together. Grey. Brown. Red. Black.</p><p>His body spasmed. Hacking. His chest echoed hollowly. Dirt clotted beneath his fingernails as his hands clawed the ground. His breath rattled in his ears.</p><p>Was he dying?</p><p>No. He was already dead. He was dead. He died. He died…</p><p>Dead.</p><p>
  <em>How …?</em>
</p><p>Colors swirled together. Something moved.</p><p>Pink.</p><p>A voice somewhere. He couldn’t understand what it said. He didn’t know that voice. Did he?</p><p>
  <em>“H… are you…still alive?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>No.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He closed his eyes. Fell.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Where was…. Luf…y?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was standing on board the Thousand Sunny. Sun warmed planks swayed gently beneath his boots, he could hear the rolling thrum of the ocean, the crash of waves against the hull. The air tasted like salt, sat heavy on the back of his tongue as he inhaled. Warmth enveloped him, the feeling of rightness and belonging within space. The wood beneath his feet, the soaring mast and full sails as familiar as his own body. Home. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Luffy stood before him; shoulders back, hands hanging relaxed at his sides. He stared off over the water, a soft smile playing with the corners of his lips as he watched the horizon. The breeze rippled the brim of his hat, tugged at the corners of his vest. Sun kissed skin shone bronze in the light, the red of his shirt vibrant, smeared across all the other colors, overtaking the blues, golds, greens. Scarlet tinted the air. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Zoro took a step forward, hand reaching out-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t move. Stayed still. Stood locked in place by chains that wound up his legs, cut into his wrists, dug into his throat. He didn’t have a voice, or a thought or a mind he was-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The ocean heaved a tainted purple, the honeyed light now garish beneath sooty clouds that’s boiled and loomed. The day bled. Luffy gazed off at the horizon, the barest of smiles curled on his lips. Around him the peace was being ripped apart by jagged claws of lightning, Sunny battered like a toy on the raging waves. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Zoro stared at Luffy, couldn’t look away even if he wanted, gaze tied to that single place of sanctity amongst the chaos. Luffy’s chest moved in even breaths, his pulse a steady beat at his exposed throat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When he turned his head, his eyes found Zoro’s and he let out an exasperated sigh before a smile glowing with affection and warmth bloomed; marred by red, blood on his teeth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Red. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Red. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Dummy, wake up if you’re scared.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He opened his eyes to a dark ceiling. Shadows clung to the edges, dust danced through the air, coated his nose as he inhaled. Dried blood, antiseptic, forgotten spaces, and the slightest of floral scents drifted to him. His body felt heavy, as if he had been asleep in one spot too long, his muscles cramped and lax from disuse for too long. The mattress beneath him was hard, smelled old. Lumpy bits of tied bandages poked at random increments across his form. There was something squeezing his temples, fabric clung to his cheeks.</p><p>He turned his head. </p><p>The room was large, empty except for the bed on which he lay, a discarded pile of bloodied bandages, a handful of medical supplies and a single chair on which a garish amount of pink sat dozing.</p><p>…pink…?</p><p>Too heavy. His vision blurred, darkness creeping in to pull him back down.</p><p>He closed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He woke up screaming, Usopp’s panicked whimpers echoing in his ears. Adrenaline raced through his veins, snapping his lax body tight instantly as his brain entered battle mode.</p><p>Usopp.</p><p>The crew.</p><p>Kuma. God damn fucking Kuma again, again <strong>again</strong>!</p><p>The room was the same and there was the ghost girl from Thriller Bark, screaming her head off like she was the one plagued by nightmares. Zoro growled, lips peeled back as he tried to push shaking limbs into motion. Was he back on Thriller Bark? Did that bastard warlord really send him back to the one place he would happily never step foot on again? His swords were missing from his waist, his whole body was covered with twisted bunched bandages. He ripped the ones covering his face angrily, ignoring the throbbing spreading out between his eyes and settled his gaze on were the girl had pressed her back against the door.</p><p>“Where are my swords?” he rasped with as much force as he could manage around a mouth that felt like sandpaper.</p><p> The ghost girl trilled in response, boldly stating that she wouldn’t be giving his swords back as if he couldn’t simply make her tell him. Stumbling out of the bed his legs trembled like a child barely learning to walk, his vision swam and clouded darkly at the edges. Pain was overruling the adrenaline rush that had gotten him moving and his body stalled, barely managed to remain standing as he grit his teeth around a series of curses.</p><p>He had to go. It didn’t matter where he was he had to go. The crew needed him. He had to get back to Saobody, he was probably already late for their meeting time. They had to be there. If he was alive then that meant everyone else had to be too.</p><p>…Right?</p><p>The girl said something in that horrendously grating voice of hers and Zoro could only brace himself as the flimsy ghost slid through his chest. His knee’s colliding with the cold stone floor was jarring, shook every bone in his body and rattled his barely clinging on brain. Despair curdled in his chest, self hatred and every miniscule mistake he had ever made within his nineteen years came flooding over him, drowning him.</p><p>The crew-</p><p>The crew they needed him-</p><p>They were probably dead.</p><p>He couldn’t save them.</p><p>Useless.</p><p>Useless.</p><p>Useless.</p><p> </p><p>Choking against the tide of agony that thought provoked Zoro felt his arms give way, the floor rushing up to meet his cheek as his body failed him once more.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He woke to a real-life nightmare which involved the most ridiculous bear suit and far too many of those stupid ghosts the annoying pinky kept throwing at him. Perona. Her name was Perona. He didn’t know why the hell he bothered to remember it though, as he was going to get off this damn island as soon as he could. This island being not Thriller Bark as he had originally feared but some other gloomy forgotten place where the sun never quite managed to beat through the clouds and the air seem to permanently smell like stale smoke. It was a dismal place, which is apparently why pinky liked it so much. They were the only people left alive on the island.</p><p>There had been people once, Zoro could feel it. The presence of death pressed heavily on his shoulders, the air itself seemed to vibrate with the bitter screams of spirits long ago forgotten by the living. This island had been a battle ground, the soil made rich by thousands of corpses and the plants thriving from the exchange of life.</p><p>All he wanted to do was leave.</p><p>A feat easier said than done even after convincing pinky(Perona) to give him back his swords after sending him on a wild goose chase throughout the whole damn castle. The girl was beyond infuriating. If she wasn’t screeching about one thing or another she was zapping him with those horrible ghost minions of hers just to laugh at him. Horrible. Annoying. A complete waste of his time and he should have just cut her to pieces as soon as his swords were back in their rightful place at his side. Never mind that she purposefully drifted around in her spirit form, he could have figured a way around that. He had entertained the idea of bringing the whole damn castle down on her head more than once.</p><p>She had saved his life though.</p><p>According to pinky(Perona) he had been passed out for days after she found him in a paw shaped crater barely clinging on to his life. She had carried him back to the castle- something that he had no idea how she had accomplished considering the spindly nature of her limbs- and re bandaged his injuries. Badly, and not nearly as efficiently as Chopper could have done but he wasn’t dumb enough not to realize that he would have died in that hole if she hadn’t. Despite a growing list of personality flaws, he did owe her that. It didn’t make any sense why she would have bothered to save him-the last time they met they had been enemies- but he figured it might have something to do with the oppressive silence of the island, her single presence a lonely spark of life amongst the dead. Even a macabre loving idiot can get tired of the solitude after a while. He could accept her assistance as being just a selfish wish to cure her own boredom, though he doubted it turned out the way she had planned.  He was grateful however, for the help no matter how much it grated at him that he had needed it so desperately.</p><p>He needed to be alive if he was going to get back to the crew.</p><p>Trepidation skittered passed his clenching heart as he wondered about their fate, what had happened after he had been sent off of Saboady. They had to be alive. He had to believe that. Luffy wouldn’t have let anything happen to them, even without Zoro there, they would have found a way out of it. After everything they had been through as a crew, this couldn’t be the end. He believed in Luffy.</p><p>He didn’t want to think about the man. Didn’t want to revisit those last few moments before everything went black. His last vision of Luffy had been a crumpled form in the dirt. His last words-</p><p>Luffy hadn’t been looking at him then, Zoro’s words had not reached him.</p><p>He didn’t know if he was glad, or bitter about that.</p><p>The unease wouldn’t go away. Anxiety settled just beneath his skin, an itch persisted beneath his breastbone, aching softly in a way that wouldn’t allow him to rest. His dreams were haunted, blurred images of his crewmates horrified eyes, the echoing bursting of bubbles as they floated languidly in direct contrast the garish hue of blood that always soaked through his mind and the frantic pace of his heartbeat. He woke up panting any time he dared close his eyes for a moments rest. Not that he had bothered trying much ever since fully waking up from his injury induced coma. He had wasted so much time already.</p><p>
  <em>Weak.</em>
</p><p>He didn’t close his eyes. Every time he did, he was there. He could see the panic in his crews eyes. Taste the blood in his mouth, smell the smoke in the humid air. He could feel the burn as stitches tore out of his skin, the groan and tremble of his legs. He could hear Luffy, voice torn and shattered with desperation as he screamed at them to run.</p><p>He lived that moment. That moment when he knew he couldn’t run. Even if he had wanted to, even if he tried. He couldn’t have run.</p><p>
  <em>Weak.</em>
</p><p>He was still so weak.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There were damn monkey’s crawling all over this god forsaken island, challenging him with harsh eyes too fierce to ignore- standing in his way. He needed to go.  He needed to be moving with an urgency unfamiliar to him, a cold sliver of dread lodged between his ribs - a knife to the heart; it drained the air from his lungs and bled his barely healing body dry. His gut told him he needed to move, like he was two seconds away from being ambushed in his sleep, a blade bearing down on a throat promising death.</p><p>Zoro’s? Luffy’s? Usopp? Nami? Chopper? Sanji? Robin-Franky-Brook?</p><p>He didn’t know- couldn’t know without the crew before his eyes and proof of their vitality real and tangible beneath his hands. The empty space at his side felt foreign, the silence pressed against his ears alien in its completeness. For months now, Luffy had filled that space, that silence, his very presence enough to vibrate the air and send the shockwaves of his voice fluttering against Zoro’s skin. Then there was Nami; loud, demanding, clever. Usopp’s tales always decorated the air, spinning tall and bright even on the cloudiest night. The shitty cook was always cooking something, prancing around the kitchen and forever tempting the gullet of anyone within a 30 feet radius. Chooper’s hooves against the planks, the quiet swish as Robin turned the page of her book, the clang of Franky’s hammer echoing dully from somewhere, even Brook’s constant crooning had solidified in Zoro’s brain. The Thousand Sunny, and the Going Merry before, had never been silent, not completely. In closed spaces breaths sounded loudly and ships always muttered softly along the waves.</p><p>Constant.</p><p>He didn’t understand how smoky silence could be so incredibly loud in contrast.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His back hit the ground, Wado ripped from his hand by the force of the blow. Zoro gagged on the thickness of blood in his throat, heaving as monkeys hooted and yelled in victory. He was wasting so much time.</p><p>He had to get up.</p><p>Get up.</p><p>Get up.</p><p>Get-</p><p> </p><p>A presence came to his mind; strong, imposing, deadly. He’d felt it before. The monkeys scattered, chittering and scampering in fear. Zoro looked up, already knowing who he would find, hissing and snarling like the wounded animal he was.</p><p>“Roronoa Zoro,” Dracule Mihawk’s golden eyes shone bright in the overcast lighting. He regarded Zoro’s crumpled form with distain. “This is not where you should be.”</p><p>The warlords voice is low and even in the sudden silence, oppressive as the dark clouds overhead. Rage filled Zoro’s chest and he wanted to scream at the man that <em>of course it isn’t!  </em>He knew that. He knew that he needed to move but just like at Saboady he couldn’t. His pride was in the dirt next to his swords and Mihawk was the last person on this planet Zoro wanted around to witness it.</p><p>“Mihawk,” Zoro growled, shoved his body into sitting and tried to pull any kind of strength left in his soul. If he had to fight now…</p><p>This man had beat him once. Zoro was stronger than before and yet-</p><p>If he fought now, with his body in such bad shape that a pack of dumb monkeys could force his shoulders to the dirt-</p><p>This time- This time, this time he-</p><p>This time he really might-</p><p>
  <em>‘I love you.’</em>
</p><p>Zoro stood up.</p><p> </p><p>Gold eyes watched him rise, examined the way he straightened his spine, pushed his shoulders back and lifted a chin dripped with blood. Mihawk’s face showed no emotion, betrayed none of what he thought about the broken yet determined figure before him. Zoro met his eyes, clenched his jaw and promised himself that no matter what happened, he would make it off this island.</p><p>Luffy hadn’t been looking at him. He didn’t hear.</p><p>It wouldn’t end this way, not now.</p><p>Mihawk opened his mouth and Zoro braced his knee’s in anticipation but-</p><p>Nothing could have prepared him for the words that left the warlords mouth. Nothing in all of his 19 years could have saved him for that tale soaked in blood and broken skin and sorrow. Each decimal stabbed at his ears, sank into the very core of him and festered; deeper and deeper.</p><p>Luffy, his captain. Luffy, his best friend. Luffy, the very center of his universe.</p><p>Had broken.</p><p>Zoro stared at Mihawk with eyes that couldn’t see. His brain filled with fabricated rubber limbs that swung and flailed and fought with every last ounce of strength because that was who Luffy was. Luffy went into each battle with the intent to win. Zoro thought of hazy smiles and teeth covered in red. Bleeding gums and bright eyes that were too far away.</p><p>Zoro hadn’t been there.</p><p>Luffy had gone to save his brother- the brother that he loved more than anything. The brother that stood before Luffy like the edge of the horizon – something to chase into eternity and gaze at with that dumb kind of determination as if you’ll catch it one day. Ace had been Luffy’s world, everything he wanted to be and who he had modeled himself after for years. Zoro had only met the man once, and it wasn’t as if Luffy was in the habit of talking about his past without prompting, but it had been enough. It had been enough for Zoro to see the boyish rosiness to his captain’s cheeks under his brothers praise. To see the stars light and catch fire to Luffy’s eyes as Ace recounted adventures and tales and places he had seen. It had been enough for him to know that Ace held a whole section of Luffy’s love that could never be touch by another. That was a whole part of Luffy he didn’t know, couldn’t know, but he could understand. He could see it.</p><p>Then, that brother that was everything to Luffy had been set to be executed. Luffy had gone, because of course he had. He had fought and screamed and bared his teeth at enemies and allies far greater than anything any of them had ever come across. He charged head first into a war, alone, armed only with a straw hat and a promise. Luffy had gone through Hell, fell more than once and got back up. He had held his brother in his arms finally- Finally.</p><p>Only to have that same brother crumble before his very eyes.</p><p>All that. All of that. Luffy had gone through all of that!</p><p>And he had been alone.</p><p>His Luffy, who didn’t even like to sleep alone. Luffy who craved people, who reached and clung with needy hands. Who had scoured the ocean for just the right people to stand beside him. Luffy who put all of his trust in his friends, who always believed that they would be there when he needed. Who had reached for Zoro’s hand and asked for his strength. Who Zoro swore to, promised, vowed to always, always be at his side.</p><p>Yet.</p><p>Zoro had left him alone.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t register Mihawk leaving. Didn’t notice the passage of time, that he was standing alone in the center of a deserted ruin of an island. He didn’t breathe. Didn’t dare to blink.</p><p>Luffy had been fighting for his brother’s life, for his own life, for something more important that treasure or reputation or pride. He had bashed his fist against the entire might of the Navy, spilt only god knows how much blood in testament to his determination and Zoro-</p><p>Zoro had been here. Asleep. Playing the ghost girls games. Fighting monkeys. Drowning in his own self-pity.</p><p>
  <em>“This is not where you should be.”</em>
</p><p>No. No it was too late for that. Even if he started running now, even if he swam across the ocean, crawled his way bloody and bruised back to Luffy’s feet it was too late. Far too late.</p><p>He had already failed. He had broken his promise so many times now.</p><p>Without his crew. Without his brother. Luffy had been left alone.</p><p>Fingers knotted in his hair, a horrendous choking sound in his ears as his lungs remembered how to breath. He felt lightheaded. His vision blurred, became watery. His head was about to explode, words spinning and pulsing over and over until he couldn’t think. He was falling apart. He couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Weak. Weak weak weakweakweakweak-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He screamed.</p><p>His throat tore, his limbs shook, his forehead pressed to the ground, gravel dug into his skin, yet he screamed. Anger. Pain. Hatred. Guilt. Regret.</p><p>Fear.</p><p>He screamed until he ran out of air, squeezed his body dry of oxygen until black spots danced in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Again. He had failed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know how much time had passed by time the ghost girl found him. It could have been minutes, hours, days, weeks. He didn’t know. He couldn’t think anymore. He didn’t know anything except the chill of the ground beneath him, the solidity of the rock at his back, the tremble that hadn’t left his limbs.</p><p>“Dear god what did you do?! The whole forest is gone!” Perona’s voice was high, shrill it poked through the fog in his brain. Zoro lifted dead eyes. Blinked up at her horrified face.</p><p>Around them lay a mountain of devastation. Fist shaped craters pocket marked the ground. Deep angry gouges ranked through the rocks, the trees, anything any everything that had the misfortune of being in his way.</p><p>“Oh no, don’t go off and die on me now sword boy. Look what you’ve done to all my hard work!”</p><p>He tilted his head in the direction she pointed, stared down at his bloody limbs with an odd sort of detachment. All the white bandages were now brown and crusted where they hadn’t come off entirely. Torn open wounds leaked red droplets in growing puddles beneath him. He watched them fall, noted the splash. Perona was still talking, but she was always talking. He let his head fall back against the stone behind him, turned his face from her.</p><p>“Tsk, and here I went out of my way to find your mopey ass because I thought you would want to know what that crazy captain of yours is up to,” Perona’s voice suddenly reached him and Zoro cracked his neck flipping to face her.</p><p>“What?” His voice was trashed, ripped to pieces during the deepest stages of his anger.  She lifted a haughty brow at him but held a newspaper to his eye level.</p><p>“This. He caused a giant ruckus again. As usual.”</p><p>It took a moment for Zoro to process what he was looking at. Luffy stood on the front page, wrapped in bandages and head bowed as chaos insured behind him. He had his hat placed on his chest as he stood in silent respect amongst the crumbled remains of Mairineford. Zoro’s eyes drank in the image of his captain hungrily, fixated over every bruise, every scrape and wound visible on his skin. He stared at Luffy’s face, desperately seeking some kind of verification, some kind of clue of the man’s state of being. But a black and white flat image could never compare the reality of everything Luffy was, and Zoro was left wanting.</p><p>With effort, he tore his gaze from those familiar features to land on the most peculiar part of the image.</p><p>“<strike>3D</strike> 2Y,” he muttered, frowning at the black written on Luffy’s arm.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Perona flipped the newspaper back to herself, tilted her head in puzzlement. “What is that? Some kind of tattoo?”</p><p>No. Luffy wouldn’t get a random ass tattoo like that.</p><p>Though it did bare a resemblance to this tattoo that had been on Ace’s arm…</p><p>“Hey, what else does the article say?” he asked and Perona huffed.</p><p>“Just that he ran around and caused a fuss. And rang the OX bell. Something about a new era,” she waved a hand as if to dismiss the whole thing. “You’re his first mate right? You figure it out.”</p><p>First mate.</p><p>Right.</p><p>Zoro leaned back, tipped his head up to the sooty clouds. He knew Luffy better than anyone; had spent months at his side watching the way he moved, memorizing every held tilt, every inflection of his voice. Luffy said far more than the words that came out of his mouth. He was always yelling loudly- with his fists, his smiles, soft touches on the arm and knee’s knocked together beneath tables.</p><p>Why would Luffy return to Marineford to ring some bell?</p><p><strike>3D</strike> 2Y</p><p>Slowly, a smile curled the edges of Zoro’s lips, and he let out a weary chuckle.</p><p>“Seriously, Luffy?” he muttered to the air, as if the words could somehow travel the distance between them. He threw an arm over his eyes and sank further into the ground, pretended Luffy really could hear him. He felt more focused. “You’re really gonna make me wait that long huh?”</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t exactly happy. His body hurt all over and there was an uncomfortable gap in his chest. Ghost girl was still yammering in his ear and goddamn Mihawk was looming someone on the island. He wanted nothing more than to be back in his bunk on the Sunny, listening to Usopp’s snores and Luffy’s nonsense sleep talking. God did he want that.</p><p>But.</p><p>Luffy had sent them a message. A message saying it was time to take a break, time to press pause on their grand adventures and dreams now while they had the chance. Take time and fix all the things they were lacking. The Grand Line had chewed them up and spit them out. They weren’t prepared. It hurt, to have to admit defeat and it left a bitterness on Zoro’s tongue. He was getting far to familiar with that taste.</p><p>It had to end.</p><p>He was too weak and the world had pummeled that into his body again and again until he finally admitted it.</p><p>Luffy had told them to wait. There were things they needed to do, before coming back together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Later.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zoro never disobeyed a direct order from his captain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Before and After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Post Time skip</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Those who escaped hell however,</em></p><p>
  <em>Never talk about it; and nothing much bothers them,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-</em>
  <em>Charles Bukowski</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Two years was a lot of time. Days stretched into eternity, each one passing seemingly at half speed and then double. Weeks felt like decades and seconds at once. Somewhere along the line months passed, lost in endless grey sunrises and sunsets that wept crimson. Memories fade and grow stale like the air in forgotten rooms, bypassed for newer and shiner places. Things that once felt vital lose their urgency. Time washes away all things, like water on stones- taking away all the rough jagged edges until a smooth blank face remains. People change, grow older, take new shapes and say new words. Life cannot possibly remain the same.</p><p>At 19, Zoro knew he was in love with Luffy. Knew it with a certainty that sang from his very bones, that he could feel with every inhale, every shared smile and brush of fingertips. He never questioned it, not really, rarely doubted himself for anything at that age. Once he decided something that was it. He had decided to take Luffy’s offered hand and place himself beside him to see their goals met. It was an impulse, a fleeting feeling to <em>act, don’t think. </em>But one that changed his life, altered his timeline and who he would grow to be.</p><p>At 21, Zoro knew he still loved Luffy. Knew it from the echoing in his chest, the constant throbbing between his ribs that had dulled but never quite went away. He knew because every sunrise seemed bitter, every sunset hollow. He knew because for two years he had been walking, running, fighting without ever moving forward while the horizon laughed with a worn-out memory. His singular focus was on training, getting stronger. He sought power and found the peace that came with it.</p><p>He had changed.</p><p>A change that had started with an admission, a broken promise, and a now faded black and white image. He had begun this journey so long ago to fulfill a vow, carry a ghost forward into the future in order to make a dream come true. Then one promise became two, his own goals blended together with another’s, more lives rested on his shoulders, one man pulled him forward. When all those vows and promises and half thought possibilities had been scattered into the dirt Zoro had been left with the pieces. Fragmented shards of his life that he tediously welded back together, forged himself anew into something better, without the cracks and flaws of the boy he was.</p><p>He hadn’t realized, hadn’t thought to categorize the differences between <em>before</em> and <em>after</em> until he was standing in the same place and realized he was not the same.</p><p>Stepping back onto Sabaody, two years after being blasted from its groves, was like going back in time. The soft squish of moss beneath his boots, the sharp scent of leaves and moisture, the constant melody of bubbles popping overhead. All of that was exactly the same; these images crystallized in his memory by countless sleepless nights and nightmares that seared themselves to the backs of his eyelids. Only this time there was no smoke in the air, the ground lay flat and unruptured by cannon bast, there was a soft murmur of daily life instead of screaming.</p><p>For a moment, his mind sent him backwards to the last time he had stepped from a deck and onto this cursed ground. His worries, his doubts, all the things that had seemed so important then- all seemed so foolish now. To the Zoro now, none of his teenage angst seemed viable, none of the things he had spun himself in circles over seemed worthwhile. He had been so focused on being what he should be; cram himself into the mold of first mate. Overcome by every weakness, every blurred line.</p><p>The him then, and who he had become, were not the same.</p><p>Zoro breathed deep, took in as much of that salty, dense air as his lungs could handle, and let some of his nightmares go.</p><p>He was Roronoa Zoro, the man who would be the Worlds Greatest Swordsman, member of the Straw-hat Pirates, and first mate to the future Pirate King. He made a promise, two and half years ago, to never be defeated again, to fight and follow his captain until his last breath. Two years ago he broke that promise. He failed himself and his captain; wasn’t there when he needed Zoro the most, lost the fight in the most dishonorable way. That was who he was, then and now too, but different. He wasn’t the same person, rather the hardened dark thing that had been created from it.</p><p>The first step back onto Sabaody was a new promise, a vow stated deep within himself to be carried out. Here in this place of failure and defeat, he swore to never let it happen again. What was true then, was not necessarily true now. If he was different, then the outcome of this place was inherently different. He would make sure of it.</p><p> </p><p>Two years was a lot of time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He arrived early. A fact that didn’t surprise him but seemed to shock everyone else. It was annoying, but he supposed that no one except maybe Perona knew how he had been prowling along the beach for weeks now; a tiger trapped in a cage and waiting to be set free. Time was hard to pin down when the sun barely shone but he had managed. When the date of his departure started creeping closer he watched it with hungry eyes.</p><p>Of course, he was early.</p><p>The thought of <em>even more waiting</em> was abysmal. It gave him too much time to think, time to wander around the island and pinpoint every difference, every mark of time. Shakky’s Bar was the same. Shakky herself was exactly the same and Zoro assumed the woman fought off any signs of aging by sheer force of will. The auction house was still there, though remolded and painted in such a way you almost didn’t notice the repulsive stench of greed and despair coming off of it. Almost.  He found an amusement park that he knew for sure Luffy and Chopper would love. When he smiled at the thought Perona had badgered him about it for over 20 minutes.</p><p>He wasn’t sure why she was still tagging along. Didn’t believe her flimsy excuses of having nothing better to do than spend time with him until his friends arrived. They had spent two years locked on the same tiny island, that seemed like more than enough ‘time together’.  He didn’t question her on it though. He knew by now that though every other word she yammered was a complaint about him, the girl was sad to see him go. He might be a little sad too if he didn’t have more important things to do. Maybe at some point, when his skin wasn’t crawling with the past and his heart racing with the future. Maybe he would miss her then. She was part of the reason he had even made it this far.</p><p> </p><p>He found a particular patch of grass not far away from the Rip Off Bar, secluded in a grove and quiet except for the rustling of leaves. He stared down at the ground as if expecting to find any trace of him and Luffy there, two years after the fact. Of course, there was nothing. There wasn’t anything left of that moment but a rusted memory, the ghost of a sensation on his lips.</p><p>He looked away from the grass, the dappled sunlight, and the beginning of something that ended before it could take shape. He walked away.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He has had two years. Two years of living beneath morose sunlight, two years to relearn how it felt to stand on his own two feet without the constant strength at his side he had come to lean on. Two years of waiting, staring out over grey waters while the hole in his chest ached with every memory that echoed hollowly. Two years that had started to wear away the sharpness of Luffy’s laughter, the subtle pitches to his voice that always told more than they said. He had started to forget what Luffy’s hands felt like when they curled around his wrist. The memory of what the sun looked like in Luffy’s hair, or the exact angle of his jaw that Zoro had once known so well but had started to blur. There were some things he was confident he had just imagined; inserted into the faded memories in a vain attempt to keep them vibrant. Like the peculiar glint in Luffy’s eyes when they met his in the mist of battle, or the soft curl of his lips when he said Zoro’s name. Little things that that had stolen his breath at the time and later made his chest ache with bitterness.</p><p>Two years to forget while desperately clinging on to every precious thought. It would have been easier, if he had simply forgotten. If he had just pushed all those bright memories away to spare himself the sourness they left on his tongue or how they highlighted the emptiness at his side where someone was supposed to be but wasn’t.</p><p>He did sometimes. When it hurt to the point of distraction, when he was too exhausted physically and mentally from training he couldn’t bare to add another thing on top least he crumble from the weight. It was easier simply not the think about Luffy, not to think about all the ways that once crucial part of his existence was slipping away like sand in an hourglass. Not to think about words like “later” and sentiments that seemed too fragile to be real.</p><p>It was the only thing that kept him going though.</p><p>On hard days; days where there was more blood on the ground than in his own body, or when his back had hit the dirt one too many times, the only reason he could get back up was the memory. Faded as it was, not even a fraction of the brilliance it had once been and no were near living up the actuality of the man, it was all he had. So he clung to it, clutched it in bloody hands and pressed it against the vacant space behind his ribs and told himself it was enough. It was enough.</p><p>He had survived. He got stronger.</p><p>He trained, lived, breathed, moved forward even while standing in place. Luffy had pressed the pause button on their lives as The Strawhats, but that didn’t mean they could stop. Every day, every week, month and year, had been exchanged for a purpose.</p><p>Zoro was ready to cash in his debt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He felt it the moment Luffy stepped foot on Sabaody. The barest brush across the back of his neck, a breathless voice carried along the wind that almost, almost, sounded like his name said with a smile. A moment and then it was gone. Possibly imagined but he knew; knew in the way he was always able to pinpoint that one particular presence, the invisible string that tied them together pulling tight, vibrating with anticipation.</p><p>Zoro stopped walking, turned his head in the direction the wind told him was the right one and breathed. Inhaled, inhaled- filled his lungs to capacity until his ribs ached with the strain. Dug his heels into the dirt, closed his eyes and let the realization settle over him.</p><p>Finally.</p><p>Finally, it was time to go.</p><p>Luffy was here.</p><p>It was time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He found Luffy amongst canon fire and shouted orders, the situation so A-typical he almost laughed. Civilians screamed, scrambling to get out the way, marines and pirates alike fought and yelled even as bodies fell around them. The vibrant green of Sabaody once again tainted with red. It was if no time had passed, as if they had simply stumbled for a moment, skipped forward a breath and they were right back to where they had been. The ground shook with impacts and his captain stood in center, a red and yellow calamity.</p><p>Zoro braced himself for some kind of shift, some tangible difference that spoke of his life sliding back into focus. But that had never been how they were; there were no dramatic moments, no earth shattering sensations to mark the coming together of two forces of nature. Across the battle field their eyes met, locked in the inevitable way they always did, and Luffy smiled. The same smile, the one always curling around the edges of Zoro’s name as it is shouted above the din.</p><p>That was it.</p><p>Then they were running and buildings were falling, bullets tracked their every step, people cried and cursed the name <em>Straw-hats</em>. Luffy laughed. He laughed and bounded forward, dismissed the chaos and madness he had created like it was just another day. Zoro watched that familiar set of shoulders, the thin frame that shouldn’t be nearly as dependable as it was, and grinned. Luffy bounced ahead of him, overtook the horizon, made it impossible to look at anything else even if Zoro had wanted to.</p><p>They left Saobody with canon fire echoing through the air like fireworks. Zoro ran forward and followed his captain into the New World.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For a swordsman that had never had a place to call home, stepping onto the Thousand Sunny felt a lot like what he imagined a home to be. The closest comparison he had was Sensei’s dojo, but that place had lamented with memories of regret and lost warmth, the empty spaces where another life should have been too startling. The Sunny felt alive, the wood beneath his palms and the grass under his feet almost as familiar as his own body. The air around the ship seemed to hum with excitement, a gentle nostalgia that wrapped around him to soothe and buff away the hurt of two years. It felt good to have the rocking of waves beneath his feet again, too many months spent on the ground. Out of the many things he had longed for he hadn’t realized how much he had missed this place, this home in the middle of sea that carried them towards their dreams. Limitless possibilities carved from wood.</p><p>The crew buzzed around him, all excited nervous relief and sound. Hugs and hands clasped on shoulders, tears and laughter. The Straw-hats were officially back together.</p><p> Nami’s hands on his back felt warm as she launched herself against his chest, the watery glint in her eyes and smile even more so. She took in the scar sealing his left eye and called him all sorts of stupid with a voice infused with fondness. He huffed and rolled his eyes because Perona had already called him every kind of idiot about the injury- but it made him happy.</p><p>Usopp crowed and clamored about how manly Zoro looked, something or another about samurai and battle scars. Zoro was impressed to see how strong the younger man had gotten, no longer the twiggy frail looking boy of the past.</p><p>Chopper spent at least five minutes glued to the side of Zoro’s head, wailing and sniffling with apologies for not being around to treat the various wounds that had left spider thin white lines across tan skin. To this Zoro had no response, barely even remembering half the ways any one of them had appeared. He let the boy cling to him in silence.</p><p>Franky had the most startling appearance out of everyone. The cyborg now truly looking like something out of one of Robin’s books. Zoro could see the time and effort the man had put into transforming himself into a viable weapon of war. It didn’t escape him that Franky had done this at the cost of his own comfort, for the betterment of the crew. The oversized metal hand on his shoulder felt solid though, the toothy grin splitting Franky’s face content. The shipwright flaunted and posed with characterized flamboyance to the cheers and awe of the three youngest members so Zoro figured he didn’t regret his choices. The quiet nod of acknowledgment he shared with Robin told him he wasn’t the only one to recognize the sacrifices that had been made for the sake of the future.</p><p>As music, laughter and tales of glory swam through the air the Sunny quietly sailed to the bottom of the ocean. Usopp’s voice carried throughout the ship, every new dramatic victory punctuated by gasps and cheers. Smiles graced every face, high on left over adrenaline from their mad dash, anticipation for what lie ahead and predominately, the joy that came from simply being in the same place again, together. The scent of cooking meat, spices and other delicious combinations was dominate as Sanji dived in and out of the kitchen. Zoro was amazed he managed to get anything done considering the chef’s idiocy seemed to have somehow tripled. He didn’t know the details, had gotten as far as “okama” in Sanji’s harrowed tale of the last two years before dismissing the whole thing as the cook being stupid. How was he supposed to fight when the slightest glance of Nami’s shoulder sent the man into a dizzy spell?</p><p>Tales of time apart were shared over plates of food and mugs of ale. Ocean water enveloped them on all sides, providing wonderous hidden images of a different world. Zoro listened to Chopper’s adventures of giant birds and grand libraries, Brook’s excited retelling of concerts across the Grand Line and something about satanic rituals on a desolate island. They laughed together, happy and secure in their own little bubble. Zoro felt something warm fill up some of those empty spaces in his chest.</p><p>The crew tried to catch up with each other, words urgent to fill in all the gaps that had formed between them. Zoro almost felt bad that he didn’t have much to share, two years had gone by in a cluster of dreary days and aching arms. He had gotten stronger, that was all. The news that he had spent the time training under Mihawk was met with several shocked gasps and one pair of worried eyes. Luffy had looked at him then with a gaze that understood, seemed to know the gravity of what it had meant for Zoro to bow his head to the very man he had sworn to defeat. When their eyes met Luffy had smiled, a small almost sad smile, and looked away.</p><p>There was one story that wasn’t shared that night, the first of many it would remain unspoken. It was the story they all wanted to know the most, the one itching at the back of every throat and the one they all bit viciously from the tip of their tongue before it could be asked for. They skirted around it, ignored the obvious void in conversation and kept eyes lifted firmly away from the molten glaring scar that begged for explanation. They all knew what happened, vaguely, but they didn’t <em>know. </em>They could imagine all the horrors and tragedies but as long as they remained unstated then it didn’t seem as real. None of them wanted to face it, hear exactly all the ways their captain had suffered when none of them had been there to aid him. It was the deepest shame of the Straw-hat crew, one they had all carried the weight of. What if’s and maybe’s long ago forgotten, put aside for action. Luffy was there in front of them now, exuberant and bright. So, so bright and alive and real. None of them wanted to revisit a past that would surely overtake the present.</p><p>The merriment stretched long into the night and Zoro drifted in and out of it. He felt warm with drink and full of the best food he’d had in a long time. The buzz of the crew’s happiness danced along his skin, soaked down to bones that had grown wary. He walked around the Sunny, trailed fingertips over familiar knots of wood and nicks from battles long past. Eventually he found himself in the crows nest, everything placed exactly in the same location he had left it them. The place was spotless, any dust that might have gathered lovingly swept away to be forgotten. Franky had spent days getting the Sunny ready for everyone to return.</p><p>He leaned out the open window, the voices of the crew drifting beneath him and endless ocean spanning out around him. It felt weird to finally be back again. Everything was so elevated, glossy in a dream like way. Zoro wasn’t sure if he should be expecting to wake up, find himself back on a hard mattress in a stone room that always seemed too dark. The contrast was jarring. This was everything he had been striving forward, the singular goal at the end of endless trials. He had made it, he had gotten his crew back, found his home again.</p><p>He didn’t know why it still felt like something was missing.</p><p>Or he did. He did know the question hovering at the back of his mind, the one thing he could never quite push aside no matter how he tried. It didn’t matter anymore, after all of this time, yet it stayed there as a nagging itch, persistent. Now, back to the place he belonged and surrounded by the people he most wanted beside him it roared back to life.</p><p>He looked down, searching for that familiar figure he had spent so long following, only Luffy wasn’t down with the others where he should be. Zoro frowned, concerned for half a second that maybe the excitable man had launched himself out to sea after some fish or another, before he heard the trap door close behind him. He already knew who it was, surprised he hadn’t felt the man approaching. Turned to face his captain.</p><p>“Luffy,” he said in way of greeting, eyebrows raised in question as to why he was being sought out. He hadn’t been gone long enough to be missed. He had some time before Nami started harping on him to be more social.</p><p>“I thought you’d be up here,” Luffy grinned, looked around the space in a similar way Zoro had, searching for difference. “So clean!”</p><p>Zoro hummed in acknowledgment, leaned back against the window frame with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Luffy poke around. He ran hands over objects, windowsills, the dent where Zoro had accidently dropped his weights too hard on the floor. There was a gleeful smile pulling at the edges of Luffy’s lips as he examined the space, as if he couldn’t contain the joy he felt at being there again. He seemed to be recommitting everything to memory, following the shapes with his hands to remember the feeling.</p><p>Eventually he noticed Zoro watching him- or finally decided to acknowledge it by turning to face the swordsman. He trailed eyes over Zoro’s shoulders, across his chest, down his legs in a scrutinizing gaze Zoro could feel, lifted the hair along his arms and threatened his breathing.</p><p>“Zoro’s gotten so strong,” Luffy said, large eyes dark in the dim lighting. Zoro tipped his head, let his eyes fall to take in the entirety of the man before him.</p><p>“So have you,” he replied.</p><p> It was true. The figure before him radiated quiet power, so strong a person didn’t need to be a Haki user in order to feel it. This close Luffy’s power pressed into Zoro, tangible and real in a way it had never been before. The Luffy that stood before him now was still unassuming, wide eyed and messy in a careless way. Yet. The lanky rubbery form in Zoro’s memories didn’t exist anymore, replaced by broad shoulders and scared hands. Those eyes held shadows now, a darkness that lingered on the edges of black lashes. Zoro found his gaze lingering on defined muscles, exposed golden skin- the large pink and red monstrosity that marred it.</p><p>Luffy shrugged, turned his face away as if he knew what it was that had captured Zoro’s attention.  </p><p>“I had to,” he said.</p><p>“Right,” Zoro muttered, watched for any indication Luffy wanted to follow that line of conversation. He didn’t. “Everyone got stronger, even Chopper.”</p><p>This brought a smile back to Luffy’s face and Zoro considered it a victory.</p><p>“Right! Everyone is so cool now!” Luffy exclaimed, eyes scrunched into crescents as his chuckled. “I have the best crew.”</p><p>Luffy looked at him, caught the tilt on Zoro lips and his eyes danced with mischief. “You and Sanji especially. You both got even more amazing~.”</p><p>Zoro snorted, glared around the heat he could feel trying to cover his cheeks at the praise. “The cook is even more of an idiot now.”</p><p>Luffy laughed, “He got a lot stronger!”</p><p>“I said he was an idiot not that he couldn’t fight,” Zoro grumbled, forced himself not to stare, not to let the stupid grin he could feel threatening to break across his face. This was nice. This, just standing in the same space and the same time and talking as if nothing had happened- it was nice. He had missed it.</p><p>“I missed Zoro,” Luffy said, mirrored his thoughts. Zoro looked at him in surprise, found Luffy watching him. “I missed everyone a lot, so much I didn’t know if I could take it, but I think I missed you the most.”</p><p>Luffy said it so honestly, casually as if he hadn’t just flipped Zoro on his head, sent his heart into overdrive and stolen all the air from his lungs. Luffy was good at that. Zoro didn’t know why he expected anything else.</p><p>“I missed you too,” Zoro finally said, wondered if Luffy could tell how much of a momentous understatement it was.</p><p>Luffy grinned, ducked his head beneath the edge of his hat and let out a breathy chuckle. He fidgeted in place, hands twitching in the scarf around his waist. Silence pressed down on them, anxious and tense with uncertainty.  Zoro watched his captain shift with unspent energy, got the feeling that there was something more he was supposed to be doing, something he should be saying.</p><p>He sighed, pushed away from the window and let his arms drop to his sides.</p><p>“If you want a hug Luffy, just do it.”</p><p>Luffy’s head shot up and Zoro had just enough time to brace himself before a body was slamming into his, rubbery limbs winding tight as he found himself with arms full of Luffy. He grunted at the impact but managed to keep them upright, one hand curling securely beneath the thigh clamped around his waist and another pressed to Luffy’s back. Luffy was giggling manically in his ear, the vibrations echoed into his chest. Heat seep through their clothes, Luffy a breathing, burning mini sun in his arms. The dregs of Kuraigana Island’s chill finally melted away.</p><p>Two years ago, Zoro would have held himself still, counted the seconds between too much and too little. He would have patted Luffy’s back stiffly before peeling himself away with curses and grumbles. It wasn’t that he never hugged Luffy- rather it was that Luffy had a tendency to wrap people up like an overexcited octopus and squeeze until death by suffocation seemed the likely outcome. Zoro never let himself stay too long, dragged himself away from the temptation of Luffy’s warmth and thoughtless affection.</p><p>That was then though and Zoro found he couldn’t bring himself to care about any of those restriction he had placed on himself. It had been so long. So much time had passed, and he just couldn’t care anymore. He pressed his face into Luffy’s shoulder, breathed in the scent of sun and ocean, knotted his fingers into the fabric of Luffy’s shirt and pressed him closer- erased the minuscule space between them that still seemed too far. He let himself feel for the first time the entirety of every month, week, day, hour, minute and second, he had been waiting- aching to return. Here. This. </p><p>He let himself drown, just for a minute. Let the time wash over his head, clog his throat with emotion, pull him down into the depths as he clung onto Luffy’s solid weight like a lifeline. That space behind his ribs filled, flooded and overflowed. His head spun, dizzy with vertigo as his center of gravity realigned.</p><p>When he finally felt steady again his opened his eyes, untangled his hands from Luffy’s clothing and started to pull away only to be stopped. The arms around his shoulders flexed, hands clutched tight on his back. Luffy hunched, his whole body suddenly tense as he curled impossibly closer.</p><p>“Don’t let go,” Luffy’s voice was barely a whisper but he could still hear the order, the command rather than suggestion. It did something strange to his stomach, clamped tight around his heart.</p><p>Rather than even attempt to say anything Zoro walked forward a few paces, tightened his grip, and carefully eased them both to the floor. He crossed his legs, maneuvered Luffy securely in his lap, let his arms circle that thin waist and sighed.</p><p>“You’re heavy,” he remarked, eyes lifted to the window and the blue beyond.</p><p>Luffy huffed and slowly, now that he knew Zoro wasn’t going anywhere, the tension drained from his limbs. He unwound his legs from Zoro’s waist, relaxed the death grip on Zoro’s clothes, draped himself over the swordsman with familiar ease.</p><p>“Am not,” he said. Zoro could hear the beginning of a smile.</p><p>They sat in silence, the same comfortable quiet that had always been Zoro’s favorite. He loved listening to Luffy’s voice, his laughter, but these rare moments of quiet had always seemed precious, when Luffy slowed himself down to Zoro’s pace rather than Zoro speeding after his. Zoro relaxed, content for the time to let Luffy cling to him, to let himself hold on too. It was fine. They had earned this much hadn’t they?</p><p>Zoro closed his eyes, counted the heartbeat he could feel beating against his own. Luffy nuzzled into his neck, breath hot on his collarbones. The rest of the crew continued to celebrate below them, the sounds of their happiness drifting in through the window as their captain and first mate curled around each other in silence. Two half pieces coming back together, the press of skin melding back the things words never seemed to describe properly.</p><p>It was Luffy who broke the stillness, as it always was.</p><p>“Sanji was making cake,” he said.</p><p>Zoro hummed, hooked his chin on Luffy’s shoulder. “Do you want to go get some?”</p><p>“Will you come with?” Luffy asked, an odd sort of hesitancy in his voice that hadn’t ever been there before. Zoro didn’t know what to do with it. He frowned.</p><p>“Do you want me to?”</p><p>Luffy huffed, flicked the bars hanging from Zoro’s ear. “Stupid question.”</p><p>Zoro rolled his eyes even though Luffy couldn’t see it, pinched the man’s waist in retaliation. Luffy squirmed, once more all twitchy limbs and fidgeting fingers. His few moments at peace seemed to have expired, all his boundless restlessness returning. He turned his head, forehead pressing down into Zoro’s shoulder with force, shook it a few times and sighed.</p><p>“What?” Zoro asked because he knew there was something. Luffy was quiet, his fingers danced an anxious beat up Zoro’s spine. He grinded his forehead deeper, enough force to almost hurt. “Oi.”</p><p>For a moment he thought Luffy wouldn’t answer, would keep whatever was going through his mind to himself, but then he turned his head away from Zoro and when he spoke it was in a small voice.</p><p>“Are you mad?”</p><p>Zoro felt his frown furrow deeper in confusion. “About the cake?”</p><p>Luffy made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. “No.”</p><p>“What would I be mad about?” Zoro asked bewildered because they had been back for less 8 hours and not even Luffy could piss him off that soon. Well. Maybe. But not today, not when Zoro had been waiting until they could all finally move forward again. He had honestly no idea what Luffy was talking about, couldn’t make the connections between his thought process. That didn’t happen often. He didn’t like the change.</p><p>“So you’re not?” Luffy urged.</p><p>“Why would I be?” Zoro tilted his head but from this angle he couldn’t see Luffy’s face. When he tried to pull back Luffy latched on again, held him still without lifting his head. Zoro strained for a minute before giving up, not in the mood to try and disentangle himself from determined rubber. “Hey. Luffy.”</p><p>“I thought you would be,” Luffy muttered after a minute, voice still too small and thin- it barely sounded like him. If Zoro couldn’t feel the words vibrate up the mans throat he would have doubted they came from him at all.</p><p>“Why?” he asked even though he got the impression he wasn’t going to get an answer. He didn’t.</p><p>Luffy turned his head finally, buried it back into the crook of Zoro’s neck. When he spoke Zoro could feel the shape of the word on his skin. “Sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t have to say that,” Zoro’s mouth was dry. He swallowed in attempt to loosen his throat, which was clogged up with things and words and mess. He didn’t understand. Luffy was telling him something and he couldn’t hear it, didn’t know and Zoro had always, always known before.</p><p>But that was then, and this was now.</p><p>Two years was a lot of time.</p><p>“Forgive me anyway?” Luffy’s voice was small. Too small for someone so loud. Too small to be layered with more things than this moment.</p><p>Frost was creeping up the back of Zoro’s neck, dulling the warmth Luffy provided. Unease slithered into his gut, his instincts telling him something was wrong. The tone of Luffy’s voice. The tremble and plea in its pitch. He felt like he was being asked for something bigger than the words implied. Like Luffy knew Zoro wouldn’t want to agree, if only he knew the full extent. Like maybe it would hurt one day, and he’d want to take it back. Something told him he shouldn’t answer, shouldn’t agree. He should pester Luffy more, dig out the context of the words and the voice, and <em>why</em>.</p><p>But this was Luffy, who knew above all else that Zoro wouldn’t pry, wouldn’t force words from his mouth he didn’t want taken. And this was Luffy whom Zoro had a hard time saying no to, who Zoro had already swore to give everything he had to. Whatever it was Luffy wanted from him, he could have it, Zoro gave it freely. He was no stranger to pain.</p><p>“Of course, captain.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Sunny sailed down towards the bottom of the ocean where sunlight couldn’t reach and too many dreams had ended. The Straw-hat crew sang songs and danced; brought noise and light to the depths. They moved forward with eyes to the horizon and didn’t look back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! Welcome to the official start!<br/>First off, thank you everyone who left kudos/subscribed/commented on the prologue. I love you. <br/>Halfway through writing this chapter my computer decided to restart and Word freaked out and didn't save anything of what I had done so I had to write pretty much all of this twice. Which was... yeah.<br/>That hug scene was actually why I started writing this story haha. That popped up in my head months ago and 21k words (so far) later here we are!<br/>Hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Just You and Just Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“It’s not the endings that will haunt you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the space where they should lie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The things that simply faded</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Without one final wave goodbye.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-e.h</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He realized something was wrong fairly quickly. That first night, everything was painted glossy and pastel with emotion, his senses too overwhelmed to see much. Even the next day after the best sleep he’d had in ages Zoro was too caught up in the novelty of being aboard the Thousand Sunny once more to really pay attention. Once the initial high wore off though, he began to notice.</p><p>The differences.</p><p>It wasn’t unexpected, and for the most part it was fine. The eight of them had spent more time apart than together at this point, it made sense that suddenly cramming them all back onto a ship would create some dissonance. Zoro could feel it within himself, a pause, a questioning as his body moved to follow the rhythm that had been drilled into it but only finding himself set in a new tempo. Kuraigana Island was dark, the Sunny was bright. He was used to jumping out of bed dodging the blade Mihawk used as an alarm clock and instantly fighting for his life. It was odd to wake up and just… go to breakfast. Sit in the kitchen. Listen to his nakama chatter and eat.</p><p>Usopp talked to himself. The rambling pitched chatter of someone who needed people but had gone too long without. He rambled as he planted new weapons in the garden, while he tinkered with new inventions in his workshop or on deck. Whenever someone replied to these singular conversations he would look up in shock, as if either not realizing he was speaking aloud or in pure surprise to have another voice respond. When he laughed afterwards, it was the near hysterical giggle of relief.</p><p>Nami was different. Never in the time he had known the woman would Zoro ever apply the word ‘soft’ to her but that is what he found himself thinking. She had always been a cloaked dagger, doubled edged and ready at the first sign of danger to her heart. The affection that previously had been hidden behind challenges and bite was easier to see. She smiled more, laughed more at the crew’s antics instead of rolling her eyes. The sadness and guilt in her eyes when she looked at Luffy, followed quickly by a steely expression of determination, echoed familiarly.</p><p>Luffy was the same and yet not the same at all. The <em>then’s</em> and <em>now’s, before’s</em> and <strong>after</strong>, all clashed and grated against each other, creating glares like sun flares that were impossible to ignore. Luffy was… himself, in all the ways that Zoro had come to expect and cherish. Louder than a thunderstorm, stubborn as a mountain, flippant and selfish and completely unhindered by any rules the world may try to lay upon him. Luffy had always chased freedom, barreled after it like a rabid dog to a bone. To his crew, and to most people who met him he was freedom. A dream personified and barely contained within the shape of a human. He was all these things, still, yet there was more.</p><p>The way he moved, held himself still in unstill times. Certain inflictions and tones of his voice, a new depth to his words. The way he flipped his hands while he spoke; new scars on his knuckles Zoro didn’t know the stories behind. The way that even though he looked exactly like Luffy he didn’t at all. How standing beside him felt like being on the edge of a cliff with nothing but clouds above and endless sky on all sides. That prickle of unease that the ground might collapse at any moment but the temptation of flying too good to resist. Iron and stone beneath a cheerful smile. Sometimes, when their eyes met, Zoro wasn’t sure exactly who was looking back at him. Wasn’t sure what to do with eyes that looked back at him with cautious appraisal.</p><p> There was more in the way he clung tighter, pressed closer, laughed louder. Luffy had always been free with his affections but now he lavished them with it. Every chance there was a compliment, a kinder smile, a longer hug, a tighter grip around shoulders, pats on backs and so many repeated ‘amazing!’s that the Sunny rang with them. And while Luffy danced and bounced around them all, face perpetually stretched tight in a sunny grin, all Zoro could hear was <em>I’m sorry.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Forgive me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Zoro watched while Luffy silently begged for forgiveness over a hurt he couldn’t have changed. Watched while the crew bloomed beneath his attention, flourished until some semblance of who they once were together, returned now polished and perfected. He watched from the corner of his eye while Luffy’s hand hesitated, two inches from Zoro’s wrist before falling back. How there was always a respectful space between them and while Luffy didn’t waste a second to throw his arm around Usopp’s shoulder or grab at the back of Sanji’s shirt those hands that had dug into Zoro’s back that first night didn’t reach for him again.</p><p>He noted how he had been the only one Luffy bothered to apologize aloud to. He wondered why it had been those words Luffy had chosen to say, had felt the need to breath into existence and imbed into Zoro’s skin. Even though he was the one who should have said them. But Luffy had taken it and Zoro could only watch as his captain quietly soothed all the hurt and loneliness, he thought he had caused.</p><p>Two years was a lot of time to make up for but Luffy tried his best to do so in those first few days under the ocean. He carefully weaved them all back together in the way only Luffy could do. His superpower. The power behind his strength. The same.</p><p>Yet not.</p><p>Not because Zoro remembered a Luffy who he shared secret smiles with. Who always reached out first and assumed Zoro would just be there, because he always was. He remembered a Luffy who pushed and took and yanked until there wasn’t any choice but to give in. In his memories lived a man with teasing smiles and bright eyes that demanded Zoro to pay attention, follow, and maybe he’d be able to see something amazing. Before him now was someone like that man but without the assurance. Who looked to see if Zoro was there, who asked and hesitated and took words from Zoro’s mouth before he could say them.</p><p>They were back together but the connection seemed off. A void space, cold and detached where previously there had been earth and warmth. Silence. A half step further away.</p><p>Luffy was his captain, now and forever. But maybe he had changed what that meant.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Zoro had always felt that it was part of his responsibility to remind Luffy that he was the captain of their crew. That title came along with restrictions just as much as it did the freedom. When they set out together- young, reckless, too much power beneath their skin for the tiny places they came from- Luffy had been 17 and giddy with even having a crew. He was their captain even if he didn’t know what to do with that title in the beginning. He had learned as they went, as the weight of their lives fell to him and their dreams were given for him to carry. Zoro only had to remind him, now and then, that they weren’t playing at pirates out here; there were real consequences to each decision Luffy made.</p><p>He had known from the beginning that Luffy didn’t have all the answers, barely even knew the questions, but that had been okay. He had seen possibility in Luffy, a chance, a will that could match his own. Hell, it wasn’t like Zoro had known what he was doing either. He had a scant two years more experience at sea, a par of subpar swords and no tangible destination in mind. Just an idea, a horizon to chase.</p><p>Perhaps the biggest difference, one that was unmistakable the moment they set sail, was Luffy’s comfort in his title as captain. There had been a hesitance before that had been overtaken by assurance. An ease and stillness to Luffy that hadn’t been there before, as if he had found the answers to those questions while they had been apart. He had felt consequence, had loss and failure burned into his skin. That darkness Zoro could see lingering on the edges of Luffy’s brilliance had bought wisdom. The kind of wisdom that never came easy, that always hurt more, that took more than anyone was willing to pay.</p><p>Luffy was his captain, and finally seemed to understand what that meant.</p><p>Zoro wondered if that meant Luffy didn’t need him as much anymore. If losing that aspect of their relationship meant that there was less of a reliance on him now. If the stillness, that hesitance, was a redefining of what they had been. Not as Zoro and Luffy, but as Captain and first mate. He knew they weren’t the same thing all the time- now. Had reached that startling epiphany somewhere between hopeless and angry, between one bitter day and the next. Coming back, he had been prepared to wait and see how just Luffy, and just Zoro fit together now. He hadn’t been expecting to suddenly be presented with this new captain, with all the strengths of the previous, and none of the gaps Zoro had found his place to fill.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The first time it happened, three days down into the ocean and less than 24 hours before the anticipated arrival to Fishman Island, Zoro hadn’t realized exactly what was happening for a while. He was awoken by a gasp, an aborted cry in a throat somewhere in the darkness. He had come into full alertness instantly, automatically reaching out, scanning the room for signs of danger or potential threats. There hadn’t been any, only the usual sleepy muttering and snores of the boy’s cabin.</p><p>Usopp, Brook, Chopper, Sanji- all asleep still. Franky on watch. Which left-</p><p>Luffy. Luffy was awake; had to be because the normal sleep babble and snores were silent, the constant twitches and rustling of blankets stopped to stillness. Above Zoro the bunk was eerily quiet and still. If he strained, he could make out shallow, hollow pants, muffled by a pillow or hand pressed to parted lips.</p><p>Nightmare.</p><p>The realization came with a wince, a kind of nostalgic dread. He had his own shares of nightmares over the years- a mix of real and imagined fears. He didn’t want to think about what kind of horror’s Luffy’s mind would be able to drag forward to terrorize the man with. There had been too many battles, too much pain Zoro hadn’t been apart of. He didn’t know them, but he could imagine, and thoughts like those had been the fuel of too many of his own sleepless nights. They were real for Luffy though, and that was worse.</p><p>Zoro listened to Luffy desperately try to stay quiet, to carry the burdens of the night alone, while his own chest tightened with uselessness.</p><p>A leg suddenly swung down in the darkness, followed by another one before Luffy silently crept down, moving with a stealth rarely witnessed from him. Zoro closed his eyes on reflex, kept his breathing even in faked slumber until he felt rather than heard Luffy move away. In the near black he could just make out the slim form of his captain as he slipped between the bunks- wraithlike, a whisp of shadow and pale skin. </p><p>Luffy walked up to each sleeping member, hovered over them a moment (checking for breathing? That they were asleep? That they were there at all?) before moving on. He did this to every sleeping body in the boys cabin while Zoro watched from slitted eyes. When Luffy finally made it back to his bunk, he hesitated above Zoro in the same way as the others but unlike the others it lasted longer- an eternity to Zoro. Luffy stood above him in the dark while he pretended to be asleep, heart beating too quickly for any restful person and he was sure Luffy had to know he was awake. Thought for sure he was fooling no one and should give up this ridiculous charade he wasn’t even sure why he was bothering with.</p><p>Yet just as Zoro decided to give up, open his eyes and maybe say something- Luffy crawled back up into his own bed, curled up tight, and lay still.</p><p>He didn’t fall back asleep. Zoro knew because he didn’t either, just stared up into the darkness and wondered how he was supposed to fight battles that had already happened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fishman Island was a mess. A mess that started with several chaotic instances because of course it did and resulted with the entire crew landing headfirst into trouble. Which was fine with Zoro, honestly. He had an itch under his skin for too long now, an itch that begged for battle, for the certain kind of chaos that can only be enjoyed with aching arms and blood roaring in his ears. He was a creature made for a fight, a sword long before he figured out how to be a man. He had spent two years sharpening his edge and it was far past the time to use it.</p><p>The New Fishman Pirate’s were asking for a fight and damned if Zoro wasn’t keen to give them one.</p><p>Having the entire crew separated however… he could have done without. It was too fresh, the memories still too raw even after all this time. Drowning, feeling his body forcibly wrenched away from the floating limbs of his crew while he was powerless to get to them-</p><p>Gasping, sputtering, and heaving salt water as soon as Zoro breached the surface he had sent his awareness out, clamped tight on the panic in his chest and pushed his senses further until he located the pinprick of energy that could only belong to one man. Luffy had been far from him then, too far to figure out exactly where, but he was safe, alive, with Chopper if anything went amiss. Fine.</p><p>They were all fine. Separated, waterlogged, but fine.</p><p>That was all Zoro really needed to know. They would come back together eventually.</p><p>Luffy would find him. No matter what changes time had caused between them that was one thing that would always be the same.</p><p>Zoro would wait, and Luffy would find him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the end, the New Fishman Pirate’s didn’t give him the battle he wanted. They weren’t weak, but they hadn’t been strong enough either. Two years ago, maybe he would have struggled, would have fought tooth and nail to over come the kind of battle they found themselves in miles below the oceans surface. But not now. If anything, fighting them was mildly annoying. Fighting underwater was a skill Zoro didn’t have and hadn’t thought about needing until then. That had provided some kind of challenge but over all, the whole thing seemed foolish. Luffy saved another princess, had another kingdom fall at his feet, saved thousands of lives.</p><p>And Zoro was annoyed.</p><p>Annoyed because Hody Jones, no matter how juiced up with drugs was not as strong as Luffy. Annoyed because there was no reason Luffy should have ended that battle bleeding out on the ground. No matter how he twisted it in his mind the facts remained the same. They were stronger, the Straw-hat’s as a whole, and Luffy for sure should have had everyone of those pirates crawling at his feet long before that much blood was shed. This was the first time they had all fought together again and Zoro was agitated. They had all fought fine, but fine wasn’t good enough.</p><p>That had to be better. They couldn’t struggle this much with enemies at this level.</p><p>If this was the best they could then what did they spend those two years for?</p><p>Luffy had been distracted while fighting. By what Zoro wasn’t exactly sure but he had resisted snapping at the man to focus more than once while Luffy was still on the ground with them. Hour’s after the fighting had ended and all Zoro could think about was Luffy punching out a lacky Zoro had already sensed behind him, had already started to move to block. He would have made it in time, it hadn’t been a big deal. He hadn’t been in danger. He knew this and Luffy did too. When Zoro had swung to look at his captain in confusion, silently question<em> what the hell was that? </em>Luffy had blinked surprised eyes at him, like he hadn’t even realized the action. Yet it happened a few other times before Luffy went off to fight Hody and stop a giant ship from squishing them all to death.</p><p>Zoro quietly stewed in bewildered frustration.</p><p> </p><p>They laughed and feasted and celebrated a victory that didn’t sit quite right with Zoro, but he put aside. Luffy picked a fight with an Emperor, and Zoro laughed in anticipation.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Navy was fucken persistent this side of the Red Line and Zoro over all wished they would stop wasting his time. The grunt ships that came after them post Fishman Island were barely worth drawing two swords for and yet they still came, one after the other while the Straw-hats dutifully sank each one. It wasn’t worth the lack of sleep but Zoro did appreciate the distraction. While slicing through cannon balls he couldn’t think about <em>then</em> and how <em>now</em> didn’t seem to live up expectations. While fighting he could forget about that hand hovering above his wrist, about the face he knew better than his own but looked at him with eyes belonging to a stranger. He didn’t think about muffled tears in the dark and the now constant nagging in the back of his head telling him that everything was different now.</p><p>Navy weaklings took the blunt of his frustration, and Zoro grit his teeth in silence every time a particular rubber fist invaded his area of battle.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At some point he made the mistake of an offhanded comment at dinner about how it was nice to eat more than noodles and curry every night. Which lead to the explanation that Perona was incapable of cooking anything else and Mihawk seemed to live perpetually on fire roasted monkey. This sparked a very loud and annoying conversation about how Zoro had spent two years with <em>a girl</em> (like that was important) who cooked for him. Somehow that led to the cook loudly lamenting what a waste it was for such a ‘cute girl’ to be stuck with Zoro for so long and Nami sarcastically commenting that Perona should probably get a medal for her service.</p><p>Which was ridiculous because if anyone deserved a damn medal it was Zoro for putting up with the ghost girls constant nagging and trailing after him all the god damn time to entertain her. After he pointed that out however, the crew further spiraled out of control and after Nami’s coy comment of “I guess even idiots can seem attractive when there’s no other options” he stopped paying attention entirely.</p><p>He didn’t understand why it was such a big deal, not like he or Perona had much choice in being stuck together. She had been annoying as hell, always badgering him into doing things with her; teaching her how to fight, playing stupid games, listen to her rabble on for eternity in the middle of the night when he was better off sleeping. Though he would admit they had become sort of friends in the end, and even he realized that without that small shred of normal human contact he would have probably gone insane. Not like he was going to sit around chatting with freaken Dracule Mihawk.</p><p>He was dully aware of the conversation around him- Nami complaining to the sympathetic ear of the cook about spending all her time surrounded by pervy old men, Chopper for some reason asking what the term ‘girlfriend’ meant, Brook singing about fangirls and star-crossed lovers- when he noticed the feeling of eyes on him.  He looked up to find Luffy watching him, still munching on whatever happened to be within reach, with a far-off expression.</p><p>Zoro tilted his head, kicked a foot under the table to knock against Luffy’s. “What is it?”</p><p>Luffy blinked, suddenly coming back into focus as if he hadn’t been aware of staring directly at Zoro this whole time. He shoved a bread roll in his mouth before asking, “Who’s Perona?”</p><p>“Friend,” Zoro shrugged, he doubted Luffy cared about the tedious details that led up to there.</p><p>“And she was there for you?” Luffy asked. It didn’t escape Zoro’s notice that he used the word ‘for’ and not ‘with’.</p><p>He smiled, thinking of all the nights Perona had sewn his skin back together while they bickered endlessly about her shitty bandage wrapping. “Yeah, she was.”</p><p>Luffy nodded, his face brightening as if that answer came as a relief. “I’m glad Zoro wasn’t alone.”</p><p>As the crew continued merrily clamoring around them, Zoro wondered briefly who had been there for Luffy, and whether he had been left alone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He stared at the dark wood above him, angry and frustrated. He thought he was passed this indecisive crap. Back on Kuraigana Island he had already decided to stop second guessing himself, stop trying to cram himself into who he thought he was supposed to be, stop blaming himself for feeling more than he thought he should. He wasn’t going to hold himself back anymore, that was the intentions he had coming back to the Sunny. Two years ago didn’t matter anymore, he had to focus on now. The now that saw a first mate still stupidly in love with his captain, still hopelessly reliant on the burn of his own personal sun. Whatever had been going through Luffy’s head at Saboady two years ago wasn’t relevant anymore, couldn’t be applied to the man today. Too much time had passed for that. Now it was just this Zoro, and This Luffy, who they were today, and the actions and decisions made.</p><p>He was going to be honest with himself. He was going to enjoy having the most important person in his life at his side and wait and see what this Luffy and Zoro could do.</p><p>Yet.</p><p>He stared up at the dark wood above him, listened to the quiet sniffs and unnatural stillness.</p><p>Zoro clenched his teeth, threw and arm over his eyes to block out the swimming shadows and realized he didn’t know anything anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ace had told him once, during the brief amount of time they man had been in their lives, that Luffy had always been crying when they were kids. His little brother was a big cry baby, so he worried. How was that soft little boy going to fair being a pirate in a world that didn’t care about him at all?</p><p>At the time, Zoro had a hard time picturing his vibrant manic captain as anything like the blubbering soft boy Ace painted a picture of. The Luffy he knew was more likely to punch someone in the face than burst into tears. The only thing he’d seen Luffy cry over at that point was an empty fridge. The 19-year-old hadn’t really believed Ace then, passed the words off as an older brother’s worry.</p><p>Now however, whenever he saw those lingering shadows in Luffy’s eyes, and that far away look cross his face as he looked out over the ocean, he reconsidered. He’d seen Luffy cry, multiple times. He had seen Luffy wail and scream grief to the sky. He had seen Luffy nearly bite threw his lip while battling the tears that tried to betray his resolve, his head ducked low and tears hidden. All these instances had seemed so singular, at the time. Rare, alarming instances where Zoro felt it his duty to step in, make up the difference in stability for a sort period. Yet.</p><p>Maybe it wasn’t that Luffy didn’t cry anymore, or wasn’t just as sensitive, but rather he had grown strong enough now to prevent the things that hurt, or to fix things once they were broken. The few times Luffy had truly broken down before Zoro were those instances where even with all his immense power, it hadn’t been enough.</p><p>The swordsman realized that maybe while Luffy had always been in the center of his focus, Zoro hadn’t been seeing him fully. He saw Luffy’s strength, his immovable will, and marveled. He paid attention to all the things that made Luffy amazing- a man worthy of following and becoming the Pirate King. He kept looking at Luffy as his captain, as this immense force of nature. He knew Luffy better than anyone and yet there was still more, more to learn and discover about the man. Where the things he noticed now, after so much time apart, difference? Or was he just seeing the man for who he always been? Not the teenager desperately trying to live up to the ideal but the person underneath all the titles and expectations?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Has he talked to you yet?”</p><p>Zoro cracked an eye open, squinted to see Nami settle down beside him on the grass. It was another day at sea, the water’s suspiciously quiet after two freak snowstorms split by tornados and monster title waves. The crew was taking the time to relax, restock on energy before the New World could throw another catastrophe at them. The navigator had her long hair twisted messily up on the top of her head; way ward damp strands stuck to her cheeks no matter how many times she swiped her fingers at them.</p><p>“No,” he said, not needing to ask who or what she was referring to.</p><p>Nami sighed, leaned her head back against the railing they were propped up on. She studied the sky with a critical eye. “I thought for sure he’d tell you about it, if anyone.”</p><p>With a shrug Zoro looked away from her, “Maybe.” He thought about differences and empty spaces. Titles and the feeling of starting over at zero. “Maybe not.”</p><p>He could feel her eyes on him but determinedly did not meet them.</p><p>“Are you mad at him?” she asked and Zoro nearly flinched at the words. He covered his expression quickly with a frown.</p><p>“No, why would I be?” he asked, reeling over being asked the same question Luffy himself had asked.</p><p>Chocolate brown eyes studied him for a minute, fingers tapped against pursed lips while Nami seemed to debate her answer. “All of us have already forgiven him, but have you?”</p><p>“Forgiven him for what?” Zoro growled, not liking having the same conversation twice and still not knowing what the hell was going on.</p><p>“For leaving you,” she said simply. “Or rather, telling you to stay away instead of coming back to him.”</p><p>Zoro blinked, surprised by the level of understanding in her tone. He scowled down at the grass beneath them, refusing to acknowledge the burn spreading up to his ears.</p><p>“That’s ridiculous,” he said gruffly. “There’s nothing to forgive. It was necessary.”</p><p>Nami sighed, patted his knee in a consoling way that made him scowl harder. “He’ll tell you if you asked, you know.”</p><p>He glared at her from the corner of his eye, feeling like she was somehow subtly insulting him but not knowing exactly how. “Why don’t you?”</p><p>The smile she gave him was pitying. “’Cause it’s not the same coming from me.”</p><p>“What the hell does that mean?” he challenged, and she laughed as she stood.</p><p>“Figure it out Mr. First Mate.”</p><p>She waved breezily as she walked away and Zoro was about to chase after her to demand real answers when a large raindrop landed on his nose. The next second thunder was rolling across a suddenly black sky and Nami was screaming for everyone to get into position.</p><p> </p><p>Later, soaked down to his underwear, chilled straight to the bone and his hands still smarting from rope burns her words danced in his head. They joined all the others, mixed in with the whirlwind of sounds and thoughts memories that never quite matched up properly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was a couple nights after the conversation with Nami, and directly after yet another frustrating battle with the Navy that Zoro finally snapped.</p><p>He’d been increasingly frustrated for days, not knowing what to do with the pent-up energy boiling under his skin. He trained, as hard as he possibly could within the confines of the ship but it barely helped. The Navy had come at them with an almost decent fighting force and Zoro had launched himself at them with bloodlust in his eyes. He grinned viciously at the surprised faces as he landed in the middle of the enemy ship, relishing in the ease of knowing even out numbered he was the strongest thing there. He cut the entire warship in half, just because he could, just to give himself something to test his swords against. It was a bit reckless, a little overly brutal as he ended up with blood slashed across his face and chest. The entire thing immediately started sinking, now in two perfect halves, but that hadn’t bothered him too much.</p><p>Or at least he hadn’t been bothered until just as he was figuring out how hard he’d have to jump from the sinking mast to the Sunny, he heard his name shouted across the water. He’d looked up to see Luffy looking at him with wide eyes, an odd panicky expression on his face. He moved like he was about to launch himself across the water to get to Zoro’s position when there was a flash of silver and a sword was swinging fast towards Luffy’s head. Zoro saw it, but Luffy didn’t.  Zoro jumped as hard as he could, cursing the whole time because there was no way he’d get there in time. Thankfully, even if Luffy was distracted at least the shitty cook was paying attention. The Navy Captain trying to behead their captain got a kick to the face for his trouble, thrown off the ship and his minions quickly followed.</p><p>When Zoro hauled himself onto the deck Luffy had been there waiting, hands reached out like he was going to grab the swordsman only to stop short. Zoro had glared down at those hovering hands and scoffed. He walked away, pretended not to see the flash of hurt pass by Luffy’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> The nightmares came that night.</p><p> It didn’t wake Zoro up this time because he hadn’t been asleep. Despite the short battle he was still too energized to sleep. His body was accustomed to running itself to the ground every day, these languid days on the ship were foreign to him now. Instead of sleep he was meditating while pretending to be asleep, a routine he was becoming all to familiar with.</p><p>He heard the first shift in Luffy’s breathing, the typical sleep sounds turning to whimpers unmistakable. In the dark he could feel the change of atmosphere, the immediate tension raising the hair on the back of his neck. He snapped his eyes open with dread, emotions flooding his chest and shattering the meditative calm he had been maintaining. The bunk above him creaked, Luffy thrashed, Zoro listened. It didn’t last long despite the minutes crawling by measured by each pained gasp that broke the quiet. Luffy woke himself with a strangled sound and Zoro wondered if the other man had also perfected the skill of interrupting his own nightmares. After years of them, it was a necessary talent.</p><p>Pensively Zoro waited for what he knew was coming next. It was familiar now to him, the sight of Luffy’s slim shadow ghosting around the room in the night. He had been the silent companion to these check ups for weeks now. He closed his eyes as usual when bare calves entered his line of vision. He still didn’t know why he bothered; he was almost completely sure Luffy knew he was awake. He did it anyway, every time.</p><p>He kept his eyes closed this time, not wanting to watch his captain move around in the dark. Instead, the memory of Luffy yelling at him across the water came back to him, the frantic edge to his voice, the paleness of his face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Forgive me anyway?’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He thought of clutching hands on his back, hands that froze mid air after that, awkward and strange between them. He thought of scars and memories, physical representation of time and the illusion of it. He thought about differences and strange eyes and titles and years.</p><p>Two years was a lot of time.</p><p>He felt that shadowy figure creep up next to his bunk and decided he didn’t care about any of it.</p><p>He opened his eyes.</p><p>Luffy hovered above him, the dim light in the cabin just barely enough for Zoro to make out the shape of his eyes, the arch of his nose, the tremble of his lips. He heard the sharp intake of breath, felt something in his chest twist painfully.</p><p>Slowly, he lifted a hand, held his palm out to Luffy in offering. The response was instantaneous.</p><p>Luffy’s hand grabbed on to his, trembling, desperate and vulnerable for contact. To know Zoro was really there. </p><p>Zoro exhaled a breath he hadn’t realize he was holding, “Come here.”</p><p>He pulled gently, giving the choice despite the command. Luffy moved immediately, as if he had been waiting- holding himself back until given the permission.</p><p>
  <em> <strike>Luffy never asked for permission before.</strike> </em>
</p><p>He scrambled on to the bed, squeezed himself down into the barely big enough space, curled into Zoro’s side like an oversized burr. Zoro shifted: knees kicked together, elbows and shoulders poking until they figured out how to piece themselves together. Luffy’s head lay on his shoulder, half sprawled across his chest, the swordsman’s arm curled around bony shoulders. A wandering hand snuck between the fold of his shirt, sprawled flat against the center of his chest; fingers spread, palm pressed down as if trying to maximize the amount of contact. Every time Luffy inhaled Zoro felt his ribs expand, every exhale blew across skin. This was the closest they’d been in weeks.</p><p>He swallowed, tried not to pay attention to the way his heart thudded in his chest, slammed up into his ribs as if it was trying to launch itself into Luffy’s hand. He focused on his breathing, pulled oxygen in a slow steady rhythm to try and combat how furiously his brain was working: hyper fixated on every point of contact, all of which seemed so much more impactful in the dark.</p><p>Luffy shifted, curled tighter into Zoro’s side, made himself small like he was trying to hide himself in Zoro’s skin. His breathing was still stuttering, the weight of whatever nightmare still clung to the ends of his lashes. Zoro tightened the arm around trembling shoulders, brought a hand to lay on top of the one on his chest. Breathed evenly.</p><p>“I’m here,” he turned to bury his face in Luffy’s hair, muffled the barely voiced words in the strands. “We’re all here.”</p><p>Luffy’s breath hitched, wobbled, fingers constricted and dug into skin, nails clawing for just a moment before relaxing. The next inhale was timed to match Zoro’s, every one following matched the same even pace.</p><p>They breathed together. The night crawled closer to dawn.</p><p>Eventually, Luffy fell back asleep but Zoro didn’t release his hold on him. He held his captain firmly, resolved to be the strength holding Luffy together for just a little while, until he was strong enough to do it himself. However long that took. Be that just for this night, months, years, the rest of their lives.</p><p>This was his place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t talk about it.</p><p>If any of the boys thought it was strange to wake up and find Luffy sprawled over Zoro chest like a rubbery blanket they didn’t mention it. Zoro hadn’t been the only one to notice the nightmares; he had just been the only one to finally find the courage to reach out, the only one strong enough to shoulder his own insecurities as well as another’s for a night. Maybe the only one Luffy didn’t mind being weak to.</p><p>Maybe.</p><p>In the morning when Luffy finally awoke he had blinked big sleepy eyes at Zoro and smiled. Small, barely the tiniest of curls at the edges of his lips but magnified by the glimmer in brown eyes, the light that shown from within him. The night had ended, and the sun had returned. Zoro had smiled, let himself be burned.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello hello~<br/>I am not sure how I feel about this chapter but I've been staring at it for a week so Ima call it done. meh.<br/>So I've decided there should be two more chapters after this one... which since I'm on winter break I'm going to try and get as much squeezed out of my brain as possible ahaha.<br/>Thank you so much everyone who has commented or left kudos! Ya'll are my life source right now and i appreciate you so much.<br/>Hope you like the chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Moving Forward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>“We are here to laugh at the odds, and live our lives so well</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That death will tremble to take us.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Charles Bukowaki</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They found an island of fire. An island that burned with vicious heat, enough to boil the sea, cast the sky with sorrow scented smoke and melt the horizon. One look and Zoro knew nothing good waited on such a place. Nothing good could come from a place where the very climate seemed to hate the inhabitants. Which, apparently there were people on that desolate plane if the distress call was anything to go on. It was probably a trap. Definitely trouble. A fight for sure.</p><p>When Luffy happily declared that they were going to land Zoro smiled, stretched his shoulders in anticipation. Dangerous island, murderous samurai, and potential marines laying wait for them? Sounded like a good time.</p><p>As they rode over clouds Luffy threw an excited smile over his shoulder at Zoro, just for the two of them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It had been a few days since the nightmare incident. No one had mentioned anything and Zoro wasn’t about to bring it up. When Luffy woke up in the middle of the night and crawled down out of his bed, now, Zoro would hold out a hand and draw him into his. They fell into a pattern, one that the swordsman cherished and clung on to with needy hands. Those quiet moments in the dark, Luffy’s warmth surrounding him, the easy synching of their breathing.</p><p>Sometimes he fell back asleep, others he laid there and tried to code every little thing into his memory. It was a simple thing, one he tried not to look much into. Luffy was a tactile person by nature, one who hated to sleep in a room alone anyway. It wasn’t the first time they slept together- two years ago it wasn’t uncommon for Luffy to prop himself against Zoro’s shoulder for a quick nap on deck or sprawl out across Zoro’s stomach in the sun to doze. It wasn’t new but there was something about waking up to Luffy and morning light. Something about being threaded together during the small hours of the night, interaction reduced down to touch, sound. Something about seeing Luffy wrapped up in Zoro’s blanket, in his space, dark hair splayed across his pillow. A thing that ached and pulled tight in his chest. A want and a need that clawed at his throat, punched him in the gut with the chanting sensation of <em>mine.</em></p><p>
  <em>Mine, mine, mine-</em>
</p><p>But Luffy wasn’t his. Not in the way he wanted. Never in the way he wanted but just enough to keep him tethered and tied, tangled in the web of easy smiles and suntanned skin.</p><p>He tried not the think about it. Took what he was given and shoved aside the growing hunger for more. Diverted his attention to another anomaly, an itch in the back of his head that had been bothering him for weeks. A difference that wasn’t a difference so much as a change, frustrating and grating on his nerves. He’d thought they had fixed it, with Luffy now spending the night in Zoro’s bed on a semi regular basis. But the sun shone glaringly on the things the moon kept hidden, created a bewildering contrast.</p><p>Luffy was still hesitating. That half step of space Zoro hated was kept between them as they moved about in the day. In the light hands did not reach for him, no warm body pressed close. Luffy hovered near by, now and then as if waiting. Which is when Zoro had a thought. A stupid one that was immediately rejected but kept coming back to annoy him. He figured it was time to do something about it, put something into motion he wasn’t sure should be pushed.</p><p>He had never been a coward. Rarely hesitated in his life. But there was just this one thing, this one stupidly persistent and trembling thing he had carried for so long. If he had a weakness it was this. That which he had jealously guarded and clung to with the tenacity of a starving dog. It made him feel vulnerable, unbalanced in a way he never did. He wasn’t afraid. He had already sworn away his body, life and blood to Luffy- secretly promised his heart too so it shouldn’t be so hard. He shouldn’t feel like there was a mikan the size of Laboon stuck in his throat every morning he woke up to Luffy’s face besides his on the pillow. It shouldn’t be so hard to force his hands into motion when Luffy was right there beside him and would never brush them away.</p><p>He trusted Luffy.</p><p>He loved Luffy.</p><p>Maybe it was okay to show him that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Punk Hazard was hot. Almost unbearably so- stone buildings wilting like grey flowers beneath the oppressive heat. The place was a hellscape, devoid of life and covered with a glaring red hue. Whoever called for help didn’t seem to be around, though vaguely Zoro knew <em>something</em> was in the area. He kept his senses open, ignored Usopp’s whining with the practice of many days at sea and tried to forcibly stop his eyes from trailing after the sweat that traveled down the ridges of Luffy’s spine.</p><p>There weren’t any victims or marines but there was a dragon waiting for them. That had been fun; he and Luffy fighting together in perfect synergy that left his blood high in his ears and resolve thumping solid in his chest. There was more going on with the island than they had imagined, government quarantines, odd half animal men, mountains of ice contrasted by roaring flames.</p><p>Luffy laughed, pranced around with his ridiculous second pair of legs and Zoro figured this wasn’t even the oddest thing they had ever seen. It was way too hot on this damn island but watching Luffy laugh made it worth it.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They ran into a Warlord. A new one that Luffy cried out to, greeted with a voice coated with excited fondness. A warlord who stared back at Luffy with an expression somewhere between irritation and resignation. A man who saved Luffy’s life- who’s name held gratitude and bittersweet joy when formed by Luffy’s lips, a hand pressed tight to his chest. And Zoro found himself paying closer attention, the implication of the action falling into place as he realized that it was only because of the Surgeon of Death that Luffy had made it back to them. A rival captain, a dog to the government, someone who by no means had a reason to have reached out that day two years ago and pieced Luffy back together.</p><p>He smelt like blood. Of cold sterile steel and death. Trafalgar Law was a monster in the shape of a human, barely held together by muscles and bone. A predator carefully evaluating its prey, waiting silent and hidden for the exact moment to pounce. Something that lurked in the shadows, darkness personified.</p><p>Zoro recognized it in the man, could feel it the moment he looked into haunted yellow eyes. He could tell exactly what kind of demon the warlord was because it was the same kind he was. This was not a man to trust blindly, not one to turn a back to. The kind of monster most people stayed away from, too soaked in blood to live amongst the kindhearted.</p><p>So, of course, Luffy brought him aboard the Sunny and claimed him <em>nakama.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It turned into a weird three-way battle, Straw-hats vs marines vs Ceaser’s henchmen. It seemed all rather pointless when there were literal clouds of death chasing after all of them. It wasn’t a hard fight. His legs were sore, he felt like he had run the whole of the Grand Line but he’d be damned if he died because of <em>gas</em> of all things. It was a dumb way to die, a coward’s way to kill.</p><p>He and Usopp were surrounded, marines and goat men on all sides. Usopp was sniveling again, complaining even as he efficiently shot down waves of soldiers at a time. None of them were worth killing. There wasn’t any intent there only duty. It was harder to try and not kill someone than it was to give mortal wounds. He would rather be cutting up that Master guy who thought it was okay to drug children. They were surrounded but it wasn’t a big deal. Easy enough that Usopp still had time to talk, still had time to tell him how Luffy had ended up captured and chained with sea prism, almost sacrificed to the death cloud and taken out by some hazben scientist. Zoro may have cut a little deep into a few marines after hearing that.</p><p>“Zoro?!” Luffy was suddenly down on the ground floor. The last Zoro had seen him he was up in the cat walks with that warlord standing beside him like it was normal. Luffy bulldozed his way through bodies that went flying only to be instantly forgotten. His captain viciously cleared the men around Zoro with unnecessary force, fighting to get to him. The swordsman grit his teeth, beelined for the man who was looking at him with a pale and ashy face.</p><p>He remembered earlier, when they parted and Zoro had gone off in search of a roaming torso, the rigidity of Luffy’s shoulders, the way dark eyes had watched him leave. That distraction. The obvious way Luffy hadn’t wanted them to go off on their separate ways, the way he had been fervently monitoring over battles for weeks now. Then Luffy had gone and gotten himself caught in a stupid way. It didn’t matter that they managed to get out of it, didn’t matter that everyone was fine- for the moment. No matter where they were or how far apart they were the crew and Luffy had focus on their own battles. They couldn’t function properly, as a crew, if Luffy kept hovering like this.</p><p>“Stop fucking around!” Zoro bellowed because this wasn’t just some adventure anymore. This wasn’t a fun round of harmless fighting with easy stakes. He had left it alone for too long, thought Luffy would figure it out on his own eventually. But time didn’t stop for anyone and the Grand Line didn’t forgive incompetence. The world didn’t care that inside of Luffy there was a hurt and a scar more painful than the one on his chest. Their enemies would never hesitate to abuse such an obvious flaw. No one thought of Luffy as broken, except maybe Luffy himself. He couldn’t watch it anymore.</p><p>He grabbed the front of Luffy’s jacket, hauled him up to shout directly in his face. “What the hell are you doing?!”</p><p>Luffy gaped at him. He could feel the eyes of the marines, the henchmen, and the crew on them. Could feel the tension spiraling out from the two of them, the confusion in the crew’s gaze. There were still battles going on somewhere, toxic purple smoke pressed them in. Somewhere, Caesar was getting away.</p><p>“You have something you need to do,” Zoro growled and Luffy flinched.</p><p>
  <em>Why are you down here?</em>
</p><p>Wide eyes stared up at him, there was an answer there, hidden amongst the ink. One that Zoro thought he understood, knew that he’d left it unbothered too long, words would need to be spoken. Luffy looked young again, face too honest for the situation, too open. Zoro felt his stomach drop down to his boots, flip around with too many emotions for him to handle.  This wasn’t the time and there were things that needed to be done. This was no time for weakness- either of theirs.</p><p>Zoro shoved Luffy away, leveled him with an even look. “We haven’t even started yet.”</p><p>His captain nodded; eyebrows furrowed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”</p><p>An arm shot out to grip the catwalk, Luffy turned to look at him over his shoulder, face set but something like worry twisting the edges of his mouth. “After.”</p><p>He didn’t watch Luffy’s form disappear further into the laboratory. Didn’t think about how there always seemed to be a ‘later’ with them. It was never the time. There was always something else. Another fight, another goal, another journey with lives and responsibility pressing down on their shoulders. It was starting to build up.</p><p>Time moved forward.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Punk Hazard concluded with minimal injuries to the crew, a bizarre party with the marines, and four more people aboard the Sunny. Four too many. Some important bad guy was coming after them but Luffy never let impending doom prevent them from having a victory feast. Zoro didn’t care either way. Some powerful foe showing up sounded like fun. He hadn’t had a really challenging fight in a while. Snow bitch didn’t count.</p><p>But Luffy relented, in his own way, to their new allies’ warning. Which was saying something about how highly Luffy thought about this so called ‘pirate alliance’. Law had a plan, apparently, and they were going to take down an emperor. Only Zoro and Luffy seemed excited about this, their matching toothy smiles bore the same kind of ferocity. There wasn’t enough direct combat in this plan for Zoro’s liking but he realized that the four emperors required more tactic that the usual battle strategy- jump in, cut, punch, win. Plan’s never worked out exactly how they were supposed to. He remained optimistic.</p><p>He didn’t know what to make of this alliance. It seemed sudden but life with Luffy often was. He learned a long time ago how to follow. Luffy was serious about this, in the way he directed the crews attention to Law, the way he actually listened when the man spoke. It wasn’t odd for Luffy to attach himself to people randomly. There was history there between the two captains that made the tie stronger. Something shared just by the two of them, something none of the crew could know but only guess at.</p><p>Law had been there, during the war. He had also been there afterwards, had witnessed the fallout. It was easy to see. See in the way Law’s eyes lingered around the scar on Luffy’s chest- the only one to face it head on. The way Luffy would smile extra bright for the dreary man. Luffy pushed close and Law would shove him away, annoyed frown in place and voice coated in knives while Luffy laughed. The two captains spoke with an intimacy created by shared pasts, common goals and equal footing.</p><p>Watching their interactions brought an itch to the back of Zoro’s neck, an uneasy pinch between his shoulder blades. He didn’t know why but something… something bothered him about the shifts in Luffy’s tone when he was talking to or about Law. Which in the first while after Punk Hazard he did a lot of. If Zoro had to hear one more time about how ‘cool’ it was that Law was best friends with a polar bear, he might just kill the bastard if they ever met out of spite. Or one more ‘super awesome’ fact about Law’s power that could dissect people while they were still breathing.</p><p>He didn’t care.</p><p>He really, really, couldn’t give two shits about that damn warlord.</p><p>This was how Luffy was. Law was his bright and shiny new toy and the crew just had to deal with it. After a few days’ things would get back to normal. Once the high wore off Zoro wouldn’t have to deal with Luffy’s excited ramblings anymore. Wouldn’t have to sit through more dinners with Law forcibly sat down to Luffy’s left, across from Zoro. Law was a temporary part of their existence. Zoro could wait it out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t think about the fact that no one was temporary to Luffy. Didn’t think about how once Luffy grabbed on to someone he never let go. Not once.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t forget Luffy’s promise. Didn’t forget that it was beyond time for them to talk about it. The <em>it</em> that they all danced around, pretended didn’t exist beyond the metaphysical. The <em>it</em> the crew collectively looked away from, adverted their eyes from like a childish game. Pretended that if they didn’t name them, the monsters in the dark weren’t real. Yet now, with a living and breathing representation of the unspoken walking around the Sunny, it was impossible. He’d let it sit too long. Let the joy and rightness of seeing the sun once more distract him from the clouds on the horizon. Too taken with the past and the present and how the edges where he and Luffy aligned didn’t quite match up anymore. They’d reached some kind of fit, a precarious balance after weeks of just trying to get used to each other again. Get used to not being alone again.</p><p>It was the nature of their relationship that Zoro let Luffy do things at his own pace, left him alone to be as selfish and crazy as he wanted as long the things that needed doing got done. That had never changed. The manic chaotic energy of his captain was one of the things he liked most about the man. It was part of Luffy’s glow, part of the energy that hummed beneath his skin. He let Luffy do what he wanted, until he couldn’t anymore.</p><p>There was a short window of time between Punk Hazard and Dressrosa. A small break before they put in a bid against the hierarchy of the pirate world. Before that happened, there were things that needed to be said between them. Too many things but he had never been a coward. Zoro decided to push.</p><p>Luffy was bothering Law (of course he was) while intermittently stretching across the deck to watch Usopp fiddle with some invention or another. He laughed, voice loud in the open space in response to one thing or another Law said.</p><p> Zoro strode across the deck casually, snagged the back of Luffy’s shirt and easily swung his squealing captain over his shoulder.</p><p>“Taking this,” Zoro said, shot a bland look at Law’s bemused expression before hauling a now limp Luffy away.</p><p>Somewhere he heard Usopp mutter a curse.</p><p>On a typical day, it was hard enough to find a piece of privacy on a ship the size of Sunny. Now, with four extra bodies moving amongst the norm it was nearly impossible. They all were very good at ignoring one another, but Zoro had the feeling that it would be best if they didn’t have an audience today. He headed in the direction of the aquarium lounge, which for the moment was empty. It wasn’t the best place for private conversation but most the crew would be in their respective places for at least a few more hours before dinner so it would have to do.</p><p>He tossed Luffy down on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest, made it clear that he had no intentions of moving or letting Luffy escape.</p><p> Wide eyes looked up at Zoro in surprise. It wasn’t often Luffy was on the receiving side of these forced conversations and he seemed to be having a hard time with the role reversal, cheeks flushed, brows pinched.</p><p>“Talk,” Zoro said. The room was mostly dark, illuminated only by the daylight coming in from the windows and the lights installed inside the aquarium. The blue light cast water shadows across Luffy’s skin as he stood.</p><p>They both knew what Zoro was talking about, knew that Luffy most definitely did not want to talk about it. Knew that he would have to anyway.</p><p>Luffy frowned, tilted his head up to meet Zoro’s glare. They stared at each other, a silent battle that Zoro hardened his spine against, refused to back down this time. Dappled light danced around them, the ship rocked gently.</p><p>Luffy looked away first, melted down in resignation.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> He lowered himself back down to the couch, pulled his feet up on the cushions. Zoro took the space next to him, leaned his head back to stare at the watery ceiling. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was going to take them, only knew that it was passed time for it to happen. Lately, there seemed to be too many things needing to be said between he and Luffy. It was uncomfortable for two people who hadn’t ever needed words before.</p><p>“It’s kinda a lot,” Luffy said.</p><p>Zoro watched a fish slide against the glass. “We have time.”</p><p>“For now.”</p><p>Zoro nodded, breathed deeply, tried to brace himself even though it was Luffy who was going to hurt. He didn’t enjoy it, digging into the scar tissue this way. Under any other circumstances, he would leave it alone. They all had things they didn’t talk about, all respected each other enough not to ask. The past didn’t matter, only what you did after. He didn’t need to know everything about Luffy in order to follow him, to love him. He understood that there were things he would never know about the other man, and that was fine. Who Luffy was today was what mattered, who he became after the fact. But the Luffy of now was still carrying around the pain of the Luffy then and Zoro couldn’t fight ghost, couldn’t win battles that had already happened or save someone already lost. But he could listen, could do something about the now and the questions in Luffy’s eyes.</p><p> He couldn’t fix what he didn’t understand.</p><p>And Luffy needed this, needed some kind of conclusion. The last piece before they can truly move forward.</p><p> </p><p>Luffy didn’t cry. He spoke with an even tone devoid of emotion for much of the tale. There were cracks and pitches now and then, places where the words trailed off or he stumbled but he didn’t cry. He didn’t have any tears left for this story.</p><p>He told Zoro about Amazon Lily, about finding out about Ace’s execution, the mad plan to break him out. His voice changed as he spoke of Impel Down, dropped to his lower register, bitter and hollow. He spoke of battles- one after the other in a never-ending series of punch, get knocked down, get up, punch. Repeat. Repeat. Forest of knives, boiling lakes of blood, frozen bodies incased in ice.</p><p>There was a name there, where Luffy faltered, became brittle as his mouth shaped the sound. Bon Clay.</p><p>It wasn’t until the end that Zoro understood why. As Luffy gazed at nothing, detailed their mad dash to sea and the giant impenetrable doors that had blocked their way, he understood. Bon Clay, a name that barely lingered on the edges of Zoro’s memory was now a name permanently engraved into Luffy’s, something to be said with the delicate reverence of gratitude. The first of a series of names The War of The Best would take.</p><p>(The swordsman quietly repeated it to himself, made sure to remember it and whenever he sat silently with a bottle of sake to himself, he’d offer a toast to it, and all the ones that would follow. Names of people who had been there when he couldn’t, who had protected Luffy in his stead.)</p><p>Luffy spoke of battles- of war, which none of them had truly seen before. Zoro was a creature made for a fight but he’d never been in a war. The ugly, gore filled frenzy of people cutting down everything that breathed closest to them described did not pique his interest either. One enemy after another after another, a never-ending tide of white and blue and red. Power users going off left and right, smoke in the air and bodies stacked to the hip.</p><p>No, not even he would wish to see that sort of thing. Even to him it seemed horrifying and he hadn’t lived it. Luffy had, recounted every detail with a clear detached way that didn’t fit him. He separated himself from his words, his mouth moving but there was no presence behind his eyes, empty and far away in a safer place. Tired.</p><p>Luffy paused, halted with force before the end could come, his face becoming mobile for the first time in a deep frown, lips pressed tight together as if to keep the words in. If he didn’t say them, it wasn’t real yet.</p><p>Except it already was and there was still story to tell, truths to be had.</p><p>Zoro reached out without thought, pried open the white knuckled grip Luffy had on his hat, and twined their fingers together. The hand in his was damp with anxiety but steady. It clamped down around Zoro’s with a force that made his joints ache but he kept silent, watched Luffy’s face, waited. It was too late to offer comfort now, too late to do anything to really make the hurt go away. There wasn’t anything to be done but he held Luffy’s hand, reminded him that Zoro was still here.</p><p>“I got to him,” Luffy whispered, spoke the words like he wasn’t allowed. “I got him, and we were gonna leave but-“ Air wheezed from his lungs, rattled with the inhale. After an extended amount of time he shook his head, fixed his eyes down to their linked hands.</p><p>“Akainu.”</p><p>Just that. Another name but this one bitten and mauled around the edges. It vibrated fury, a deep seeded kind of hatred that raised the hair along Zoro arms, snapped his spine straight. His fingers twitched for his swords on reflex, his body reacting to the bloodlust in Luffy’s eyes. His lips twisted, bared his teeth against an enemy that wasn’t there. He squeezed Luffy’s hand, a silent prompt for the end.</p><p>“I don’t… remember much after that. But Jimbe carried me out. I don’t remember this,” his splayed his fingers against his chest, pressed into the warped skin. He looked up at Zoro for the first time since they sat down, eyes shadowed by his hat, clouded with the past. “You hate it right?”</p><p>Zoro reeled back, caught in the look and the accusation. He stammered, off guard to defend himself, or explain, or do anything but stare. He hadn’t meant to be so obvious, didn’t want to burden Luffy with his own twisted up regret. That scar was like a proclamation of Zoro’s inadequacies, the ways he hadn’t been enough, the mark of two years. Always there on Luffy’s chest, carried for the rest of them.</p><p>Luffy nodded, “I did too, for a while.” He looked down at himself, fingers running along the raised edged where pink blended into bronze. “Failure. That’s what I thought, when I saw it. But after a while, it felt more like a reminder. Of what I have to do.”</p><p>He sighed, once, hard through his nose. “I wasn’t strong enough to save him. A lot of people had to help me. Bon Clay. Jimbe. Iva-chan, Tarao. I’d be dead without them. I have to be strong enough to protect the people I love.”</p><p>He looked down at their hands, then up at Zoro.</p><p>“Ace died to protect me.”</p><p>Zoro couldn’t quite stop the wince, his eyes darted to the side as he realized. Somewhere he had known, had made the connection even if hadn’t wanted to. He grit his teeth, swallowed down the bile in his throat. The air felt heavy, thick with the past. Suddenly the comfortable air of the lounge felt suffocating.</p><p>He knew the words Luffy wanted to hear, the ones that would make the fearful look vanish from his face. He understood, he really did.</p><p>
  <em>Don’t die for me.</em>
</p><p>“Luffy,” he warned, chest squeezed tight. He would give Luffy anything in the world, would fight tooth and nail to obtain whatever Luffy desired most but this- he couldn’t promise this. At the end of the day, this part of himself hadn’t changed. If it came down to Luffy’s life or his own, Zoro would always put Luffy’s first.</p><p>“I know,” Luffy said, and Zoro snapped his head up to look at him, surprised. Dark eyes regarded him with steel and determination before softening, becoming lost. Luffy raised his free hand to softly trace the side of Zoro’s cheek, the touch feather light and reverent. “I know, I won’t ask. But Zoro…”</p><p>
  <em>I’m scared.</em>
</p><p>Zoro frowned, felt something cold drop in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to tell Luffy that he was wrong, to comfort the other mans fears and assure him that Zoro would always be there for him. To promise. He hated the shake in Luffy’s voice, the fact that this was the first time Ace’s name had left his lips since they reunited. He hated that he could understand; he knew why Luffy was saying this and what it meant to him. He wanted to give Luffy what he needed to hear, what would make all the anger and pain disappear from his eyes. He wanted.</p><p>But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t ever lie to Luffy.</p><p>Zoro was lost, drowned in the depth of Luffy’s eyes, frozen by the gentleness of the fingertips on his face. Caught between the desire to make it better and what he knew, within himself, was true.</p><p>“I can’t help it,” Luffy breathed. “After Ace… and Zoro… I just can’t. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Ever since the came back together, Luffy has been apologizing. Silently to the crew, in broken whispers against Zoro’s skin. Hesitant hands that were scared to hold on too tightly. Anxious panicked eyes across battlefields. A man stronger than mountains, reduced to dust, who had pieced himself back together for the things he still had. Terrified to lose anything else.</p><p>“You can’t keep protecting me Luffy,” Zoro muttered, pulled some kind of strength from his bones. It needed to be said. They couldn’t move forward otherwise. He wouldn’t let the past keep pulling Luffy back. “I don’t need you too. It’s dangerous.”</p><p>Luffy nodded, hid behind the brim of his hat. He looked small and pale in the blue light, like his words had drained all the brilliance out of him. Zoro sighed, ran a frustrated hand over his hair, searched the ceiling for answers.</p><p>“Do you trust me?”</p><p>Luffy jerked up instantly, a frown creasing his brows. “Of course.”</p><p>“Then trust me,” Zoro said sternly. He leaned forward to stare directly into Luffy’s eyes, made it impossible for the other to look away, put as much force into his words as he could. “Trust in the promises we made. Believe in me. I can’t fight with a captain who doubts me.”</p><p>Luffy swallowed, stared at Zoro with parted lips and wide eyes. Then, the edges of his lips curled, life and radiance chased away the lingering fear in his eyes. When he smiled, it was the smile before a battle, the anticipation and adrenaline before an adventure.</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>Zoro grinned, squeezed the hand still somehow locked in his and let go.</p><p>“Right. Do it again and I’ll smack you,” Which wasn’t true at all but the laugh it earned from Luffy was worth it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night as they went to bed Zoro didn’t bother waiting for the nightmare. He curled a hand around Luffy’s wrist and pulled him down into the bunk quickly being thought of as ‘theirs’. They both slept solidly through the night, not a bad dream in sight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Life on the Sunny plus four remained mostly the same. Nothing really changed after the revelation of Luffy’s story. Zoro didn’t know why he felt disappointed, didn’t know what he has been expecting. Something. Anything.</p><p>They moved forward.</p><p>The crew ate together, laughed, separated into their various interest and came back together. The patterns they had all carefully remade were still there, just altered to accommodate the extra bodies. He and Luffy stayed the same. Like nothing had changed. Nothing had happened but Zoro <em>felt</em> like it had. Or should have.</p><p>At night when the past reached out to taunt them Luffy crawled down into Zoro’s bed. During the day he smiled and bounced around, latched on to Law’s arm while chatting happily.</p><p>Zoro trained.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The samurai flittered awkwardly on the fringes of the crew. There always in the corner of the eye, fidgety and wary. They were hiding something. All their words were spoken with care, stilted and cautious around certain topics. It wasn’t the Straw-hat way to pry too deep into things people preferred hidden though. Zoro kept a careful eye on them none the less. He watched them and Ceaser and Law and felt like his home was being invaded. He didn’t think the samurai meant any harm to them, there was no intent to them. If anything, they acted like wounded animals, wary of every kind hand offered. It had taken fucken forever to convince Kanjuro than no, Zoro had not stolen Shushui, and no he was not going to give the damn sword back. The other man had gone on for days about it before accepting the events of Thriller Bark as fact. Like Zoro would lie about that. Shushui was about the only good thing that had happened on that damn island. And Brook. The skeleton was alright. Luffy had always wanted a musician on board.</p><p> Ceaser would harm the crew if he got the chance but he was kept locked up and powerless at all times. He was rather spineless too, weak underneath all the bravado. Not a threat. Zoro had taken to polishing and sharpening his swords within eyesight of the clown just to watch the man squirm. It made the days less tedious.</p><p>And Law… Zoro was just going to have to put up with. He didn’t have much of choice. Captain orders.</p><p>Zoro trained. And trained and pushed himself as far as he could without a real fight to go against. He trained until his arms shook and his shoulders burned. The crawling sensation under his skin didn’t recede, the tension in his back didn’t fade. He hung out in the crow’s nest, blocked out the sound of Luffy’s laughter drifting in from the open window.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was only brought up once. The crew was piled into the kitchen, easy conversation and clatter flowing over the scent of another fabulous meal. Luffy paused in the middle of shoving a drumstick in his mouth, bent, tilted his head in the direction of the Hearts Pirate captain and said, “Hey Tarao, wanna join my crew?”</p><p>Silence fell, all eyes turned to where the two captains were facing off. Zoro rolled his eyes, somewhere behind him he thought he heard the cook snort. There was an amused smile on Robin’s face. It wasn’t like anyone was surprised. They had seen that question coming ages ago. What had captured everyone’s attention was Law’s response, whether or not they needed to start clearing out space for another bunk in the men’s quarters, if they needed to permanently add another appetite to the grocery list. They waited with resigned acceptance.</p><p>For Law’s part, he didn’t seem at all perturbed to be the center of attention suddenly. He frowned down at Luffy, seemingly more confused by the question than annoyed.</p><p> “No. I have my own crew Mugiwara,” he said evenly, like they were the only two people in the room. The Straw-hat’s all shrugged, went back to eating as if that was the end of it. Zoro watched the conversation out of the corner of his eye, knowing it wasn’t.</p><p>Luffy grinned. “And you want to go back to them?”</p><p>Something passed over Law’s face, his slight intake of breath so subtle only Zoro and Luffy heard it. Zoro resisted the urge to curse, he was an idiot. He hadn’t noticed.</p><p>“…yes.” Law said after a pause, frowning harder as Luffy’s grin turned triumphant.</p><p>“Okay,” Luffy said, smug like he had just won something. He sat back properly in his chair and finally scarfing down the drumstick. “We’ll go get them after we blow up the thing.”</p><p>Zoro sighed because now it was <em>a thing</em>. Luffy always did what he said he was going to do. No and, but’s or if’s about it. If Luffy said they were going to take Law back to his crew then that is what they were going to. Heaven nor Hell would be able to stop them because Luffy had decided that Law was his, and by extension everything Law held dear was worthy of fighting for. No matter what happened in Dressrosa, Luffy was going to make sure the Hearts Pirates got their captain back, whether Law planned on that or not.</p><p>Zoro didn’t like it. Didn’t like the trouble he could see brewing in Luffy’s eyes. Oh sure they had a plan- a decent low risk plan that theoretically wouldn’t involve much fighting. Zoro knew that Luffy did intend to follow that plan… up until he felt like he couldn’t. And that was why Zoro did not like this agreement with the other captain. He didn’t like how it was the eight of them put at risk while Law’s crew was safely tucked away somewhere else. He didn’t doubt that they could do it, didn’t doubt that they would be able to pull through no matter what unforeseen events occurred. He trusted his crew, Luffy, to be strong enough. Luffy wouldn’t put them at dire risk unless he had to.</p><p>Zoro just didn’t like that now Luffy was considering Law to be at least equivalent to crew and if there was one thing Luffy would move heaven and earth for, it was them. Law wanted to see Donflamingo go down, for a reason much deeper than the one he gave. Zoro could feel it; the hatred and deep seeded bloodlust that lined the surgeons voice when he said the name. If Zoro could hear it, then Luffy could. Donflamingo wasn’t getting out of this with all his teeth in place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He had taken to spending time on the stern, back near where Nami and Robin liked to sunbathe. He was sprawled out on the deck, letting the heat of the sun soak down into his skin. He was trying to nap, even though he wasn’t particularly tired. There wasn’t much else to do and this was the only place with a little peace to it that didn’t feel like he was trying to hide. He wasn’t, but the lawn was overcrowded these days. If he focused, he could just hear the lilts of Luffy’s voice accompanied by the softer board tones of Law. One was often accompanied by the other these days.</p><p>Usopp was tending to some of his plants near by, humming lowly under his breath in an unobtrusive way. Robin paged quietly through a book.</p><p>When Zoro had first plopped down next to her chair the older woman had peered at him over her sunglasses, that frustratingly knowing smile on her lips.</p><p>He wasn’t hiding.</p><p>He just couldn’t stomach watching Luffy and his newest favorite past time, which was wheedling away at Law until the surgeon teleported him into some random place on the ship to be rid of him. The locations got increasingly random/difficult to get out of every time. Once, Luffy had ended jammed between some of the complicated machinery in Franky’s workshop. It had taken them an hour to pull tangled rubber limbs from the gears.</p><p>After the first time, Zoro thought Law really should have known better when Luffy had returned not a minute later with bright eyes and a far to excited expression. He full heartedly blamed the other captain for every incident after that. Despite the colorful curses that came out of the mans mouth, Zoro had a suspicion he actually enjoyed it.</p><p>It was annoying as hell.</p><p>He just wanted some peace, that was all. Unfortunately, while Robin and Usopp were decent company, spending any time near one of the women on board meant eventually having the cook invade. There was nothing peaceful about Sanji on a good day. On a day where Zoro felt like his skin was slowly trying to peel itself from his bones and a rock had settled on his chest- well.</p><p>“Oi, marimo, you’re in the way,” Sanji kicked a boot against a leg, not lightly. Zoro didn’t bother opening his eyes.</p><p>“Go around,” he said. Sanji tsk’d under his breath, the scent of cigarette smoke temporarily overtook that of the sea and sun. There was the usual gushing and disgustingly sweet voice Sanji spoke to women in while he presented Robin with whatever drink he had made for her today. It was barely better than being down on the lawn but Zoro stayed put out of stubbornness. He focused on the feeling of the sun on his face, the rocking of the ship beneath him, and determinedly did not pay attention to any of the people surrounding him.</p><p> </p><p>“—two of them now,” Sanji’s obtrusive whine broke Zoro’s concentration. “Luffy couldn’t have picked a more… pleasant person to get in an alliance with?”</p><p>Robin’s soft chuckle was calming. “Are pirates generally pleasant?”</p><p>“Of course not Robin dear, but he pretty much picked another mosshead but with actual brains,” Sanji complained and Zoro was suddenly very much paying attention to their conversation.</p><p>“What was that shit cook?” he growled sitting up. Before he could get very far Usopp wandered over, scratched absently at the hair on his chin while squinting down at Zoro in a way that made the other man want to punch him.</p><p>“You think so? I don’t really see it,” Usopp turned to Robin.</p><p>“Hmm, I suppose there are certain similarities between the two,” she mused, infuriating little smirk in place.</p><p>“Don’t compare me to that bastard,” Zoro growled but it was too late.</p><p>“They are similar,” Sanji propped the tray he was carrying on his hip, counted on his fingers. “Moody, quiet, an unhealthy fondness for cutting things up.”</p><p>Robin tittered quietly. Usopp nodded vigorously. Zoro narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“Grumpy, emotionally constipated, void of actual human compassion,” Sanji continued. A gleeful smile twisted his face. “Yup, I think our captain has a type.”</p><p>“Bloodthirsty swordsman?” Usopp laughed.</p><p>“He does seem drawn to dangerous things,” Robin supplied.</p><p>“Shut up,” Zoro warned, something vicious and black coiling deep in his gut. They were teasing, he knew. He knew it but that didn’t stop all the frustrated anger he had been suppressing for days from pressing up against his skin.</p><p>A loud shout drifted up from the deck, followed by the unmistakable blue glow of Law’s devil fruit. Luffy’s manic cackle could probably be heard throughout the whole ship. Zoro didn’t look, didn’t need to see it to know that Luffy was pestering Law and having the time of his fucken life doing it. Sanji did peer down to examine the chaos though, blonde hair swaying as he shook his head at whatever ridiculous thing Luffy was doing now.</p><p>“Is it going to be like this the whole time?” he asked no one in particular. None of them asked for specifics on what he was referring to. The Sunny was a small ship, it would be impossible not to notice exactly how excited their captain was about his new ‘friend’.</p><p>Sanji tipped his head, looked directly at Zoro with a mocking grin. “Careful seaweed brain, or you might be replaced with a new favorite.”</p><p>His fist collided with Sanji’s jaw before any of them could react, the blond man flying back to crash into the railing with enough force to make the wood creak alarmingly. Zoro blinked, unsure when he had moved but already falling into a familiar stance, his swords suddenly in his hands and adrenaline in his veins.  Blue eyes were wide, fingers came up to touch his face for a second before Sanji was on his feet, spinning, a roundhouse kick aimed for Zoro’s head.</p><p>“What the fuck mosshead?!” Sanji yelled and Zoro was ready for him, swords lifted to parry, blood in his ears and eyes narrow.</p><p>“Shut the hell up,” he growled, took a kick to the gut but rolled with it, launched himself at the cook with furious precision. Too hard. He and Sanji fought all the time but never seriously, never with any intent. Zoro was wound too tight, all his carefully maintained calm fraying at the edges. He had had a decent fight in such a long time.</p><p>
  <em>‘a new favorite’</em>
</p><p>Kitetsu sliced through fine woven cotton, tore a red line across the skin beneath, the cursed blade humming hungerly at the release of blood. Somewhere Usopp was yelling. Shushui lashed out, caught gold strands as Sanji hastily ducked, landed on his hands, a heel crashed into the side of Zoro’s head blinding him momentarily and filling his mouth with copper. He smiled.</p><p>Sanji glared back at him, bewildered but furious. There was blood on his lip from Zoro’s punch. The swordsman crouched low, ready to rush forward, to fight, cut, destroy-</p><p>“Stop.”</p><p>They both froze- swords inches from skin, a foot grazing green hair. They scowled at each other, breath heavy and limbs quivering from the abrupt halt.</p><p>“Stop fighting, now,” Luffy’s voice was hard, the command unmistakable. Sanji straightened instantly, his posture falling back into the easy grace he always had. He drew out a fresh cigarette, the click of his lighter loud in the tense air.</p><p>He glanced over Zoro’s shoulder, “Captain.”</p><p>Zoro lowered his swords but didn’t sheath them, shifted but kept his stance wide, his knee’s slightly bent, body strung tight. His pulse was pounding against his ear drums, so loud he barely heard anything else. Raw anger boiled in his stomach, kept his vision battle hazed.</p><p>“Zoro.”</p><p>Resisting the urge to snarl Zoro finally straightened, moved away from Sanji. Luffy’s tone left no room for disobedience, pitched low in a way rarely used on his crew. That was how he spoke to enemies, the warning before a fist found a way into their face. When Zoro turned his captain was frowning, eyes sharp with disapproval. Law was hovering over his right shoulder, comfortable and at ease like he fucking belonged there. Zoro sneered, ripped his eyes off of the man and back to his captain, fingers tight against the braided hilts in his hands.</p><p>Luffy wasn’t looking at him anymore, eyes trained to Sanji, a simmering anger beneath his gaze as he took in the cuts on Sanji’s clothes, the blood under.  Zoro’s gut twisted uncomfortably at that, something resembling shame wiggling through his anger. They weren’t deep, barely more than paper cuts really but that wasn’t the important part. He never cut his crew members, no matter how hard he and Sanji threw themselves at each other he hadn’t ever cut the other man before. Hadn’t ever wanted to because no matter how much the other pissed him off, he was still crew, still nakama.</p><p>And now this time, it wasn’t Sanji Zoro was angry at, not really.</p><p>He took a deep breath, released it harshly through his nose, clawed up the calm he had trained religiously to obtain. Luffy watched him. He was still frowning but didn’t seem angry anymore, confused mostly. He took in Zoro’s forced calm and nodded.</p><p>“If you need a fight, we can,” he said and Zoro narrowed his eyes. He did need a fight- probably. There was too much energy in his limbs, his skin pulled tight and itchy. His chest felt too heavy lately, his breathing constricted and labored. He felt angry and frustrated and something about today was making it worse.</p><p>A good spar might help. Sparing with Luffy was typically fun, both reckless and wild enough to fight for the thrill of it. They usually ended up laughing, throwing out unpracticed moves and strategies in the comfort of knowing that no matter how hard they hit, they’d never hurt each other beyond a bruise.</p><p>But.</p><p>Zoro didn’t want that, didn’t think he could stand to spar with Luffy right then. Couldn’t stand the thought of raising his swords, or even his fists towards Luffy even if it was harmless. Didn’t want to ruin a usually enjoyable pass time together with the foulness of his mood.</p><p>Luffy seemed to read the answer by his expression, accepted it easily before brightening.</p><p>“Or you could fight Torao!” he said it like it was the best idea ever, completely unaware of how blood lust surged in Zoro’s veins, made his fingers twitch in anticipation. The image of cutting up that haughty expression the other captain walked around with was a heady one. One that Zoro had thought more than once.</p><p>Law looked down at Luffy with a frown. “I didn’t agree to that.”</p><p>Luffy beamed up at him, sunshine and fucken rainbows. Zoro felt his teeth gnash together.</p><p>“Come on it’ll be fun! You both fight with swords!” Luffy wheedled, a hand reached up to tug on Law’s jacket and Zoro had enough.</p><p>
  <em>‘They are similar’</em>
</p><p>The sound of his katana sliding back into place with audible <em>chinks</em> drew the two captain’s attention back to him. He leveled them both with a glare.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Luffy blinked at him, “But Zoro-“</p><p>“Is this an order captain?” Zoro interrupted, wrangled with the fury in his chest to keep his tone level. He didn’t quite manage.</p><p>The frown was back on Luffy’s face. The expression really didn’t suit him. He shook his head and Zoro turned immediately.</p><p>“Then find someone else to do tricks for you,” he said and stalked away.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t get very far. He wasn’t surprised. He knew Luffy had started moving as soon as Zoro had, tracked him with the stubbornness both of them shared. He knew Luffy was angry, or at least annoyed with him. But he was angry too damnit. A directionless kind of anger that was flaying his chest raw. The only way it could go was out. He didn’t even know what he was so angry about, only that he had felt annoyed since Punk Hazard, since he and Luffy had talked, something dark itching at the back of his head.</p><p>It wasn’t Sanji, or his teasing. He had been just saying shit like he usually did. Zoro didn’t care about that nonsense.</p><p>Except.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>He had made it as far as the men’s quarters. The air felt stuffy, dust danced in light beams. It really didn’t do anything to calm him down. With clenched teeth he turned to look face Luffy.</p><p>Luffy had his hands on his hips, held tilted to the side as he frowned. Zoro felt like he was being examined, a bug pinned beneath glass and his skin <em>crawled</em> with it.</p><p>“Say it,” he grit out, afraid to open his mouth any wider unless he snapped. He didn’t want to lash out at Luffy, didn’t want to start a pointless fight. Yet now, looking at the other man brought all that bitterness back to his mouth, coated his tongue in something rotten and foul.</p><p>“I thought I might need to punch you but,” Luffy tilted his head the other way, pursed his lips. “Maybe you need to punch me?”</p><p>Zoro scoffed, crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to fucken punch you.”</p><p>“Hmmm,” Luffy eased closer, peered up at Zoro’s face. “You’re mad at me though.”</p><p>“No,” Zoro snarled. It wasn’t a lie, but it tasted like one. He didn’t have any reason to be angry at Luffy though. Things had been normal. Nothing had changed.</p><p>Nothing had changed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strike>Maybe it should have.</strike>
</p><p> </p><p>“Leave it alone Luffy. I’m fine,” he said, turned away from Luffy and his own unsettling thoughts. “Go back and bother <em>Tarao</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Tarao</em>,” Luffy mimicked and Zoro cursed himself seven different kinds of stupid. It was already too late to take it back though; recognition was already blooming on Luffy’s face. Zoro silently wished for some freak attack to happen in the next second to stop the next words before they could form.</p><p>“It’s Tarao,” Luffy blinked. “You hate Tarao?”</p><p>“I don’t hate him,” Zoro denied immediately. “I just-“</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He just hated how much Luffy seemed to like him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He stopped cold. Replayed the thought twice in his head before realizing the implications of it, the truth to it. Zoro felt his face burn as he stood there horrified, disgusted by his own stupidity. He scowled pointedly at the wall and refused to finish speaking. He didn’t dare look at Luffy. Knew it was already too late to try and hide whatever messed up expression was on his face, open for Luffy to piece together.</p><p>“Zoro.”</p><p>He gritted his teeth because he didn’t need to see it to hear the smile in Luffy’s voice.</p><p>“Zoro,” Luffy snickered.</p><p>“Shut up,” Zoro snapped, mortified, and that was it. A loud, boisterous laugh burst out of Luffy’s mouth hard enough to bend him in half, fingers clutched around his stomach. He nearly toppled over with the force of it. The swordsman found himself seriously debating retracting his statement of not punching his captain in the face. If he didn’t use haki it wouldn’t hurt, but it would be damn satisfying.</p><p>“Zoro’s so dumb,” Luffy wheezed.</p><p>Zoro shoved him over. Luffy laughed harder.</p><p>Flat on his ass the younger man giggled, cheeks smushed up into his eyes, smile so big it split his face in half. A rosy tint flushed his skin, mirth painting his entire being a wobbly squiggle of limbs and flashing gums. It had been a long time since Zoro had seen Luffy this inexplicably happy and part of him – the part not currently withering in humiliation – felt warmed by it. Happy that he was the one who caused it, even at his own expense.</p><p>“Are you done?” Zoro grumbled once Luffy’s cackles had subsided into airy chuckles.  Luffy wiped at his eyes, pointed a breathless smile up from where he was still sprawled carelessly on the floor.</p><p>“Tarao is just Tarao,” he said, as if this were something basic that Zoro should already understand. The swordsman grunted and Luffy rolled to his feet.</p><p>“I said we’d take down Kaido together. And Mingo too,” Luffy flashed a grin before sobering slightly, brows knitted. “Tarao’s my friend, but he’s sad. He doesn’t have anyone else.”</p><p>Zoro knew that. He realized there was more to the man than he wanted seen. Too bad trying to hide things from Monkey D Luffy didn’t work no matter how clever they were. Luffy always saw the things people would rather he not, skipped right over the normal laws of society and got the truth of people.</p><p>“We’ll do it,” Zoro said. There really wasn’t any room for doubt. They were pointed in the direction of a fight, guided by Luffy’s decisions and resolute will. He understood why Luffy was so determined, knew it had a lot to do with the still beating heart in his chest and the scars on his skin. Taking down an Emperor was really just an added bonus. Zoro had every belief that even if that hadn’t been part of the plan they still would have been on this path. Set to return a debt too great not even a pirate could walk away from.</p><p>Luffy smiled, face still red and eyes dancing. He reached out a hand and Zoro found himself holding his breath, watched while careful fingers curled around his wrist, squeezed lightly over his pulse point. He zeroed in on the contact, felt something shudder and bloom in his chest. Rightness, a shift, pieces groaning and shaking while falling into place. Only a moment and then Luffy was wandering away, taking his warmth with him but leaving the brand of his fingertips on Zoro’s skin.</p><p> Before he reached the door Luffy turned, grinned at Zoro over his shoulder.</p><p>“Zoro is my first mate. Don’t be dumb.”</p><p>Zoro huffed out a laugh, wondered why he wasn’t sure if that was possible at this point, considering the man he had chosen to follow. Considering how stupid he was for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>At dinner that Luffy was animated as usual, drew Law in to every other conversation and got into more than one battle over the food Law wasn’t eating fast enough for being so close to Luffy’s grabby hands. The same as it had been since the Warlord had joined them. Only this time, around the point Zoro typically started considering switching places with Brook at the other end of the table, Luffy shifted, let their knee’s knock together beneath the table. The gesture so wholesomely familiar Zoro almost didn’t notice, didn’t pay attention until he caught the small curve on Luffy’s lips, the glances sent his way.</p><p>It was a nice night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sometime in the thin hours of the night, in the breath before night becomes day, Zoro is awoken to the sound of Luffy stumbling out of bed. At first, he thinks it was a nightmare, only to dismiss the idea because he always woke up exactly when Luffy did. At this point, even unconscious his body had an innate sense for when Luffy was in trouble.</p><p>His captain didn’t wander around the room, nor crawl into bed next to Zoro, instead he quietly slipped into his sandals and shuffled out to the deck, hat in his hands. He didn’t have watch, this early it was usually only Sanji moving around the kitchen to start on breakfast. Luffy knew better than to bother the cook so early on though, had received more than enough kicks in the head to at least wait until the blonde had finished his morning routine.</p><p>Curious, Zoro rolled out of bed and followed to where he could feel Luffy, sat up on the figure head.</p><p>Humidity weighed heavy in the air, implying that they were close to a summer island. It was still at this time, right before dawn. Like an intake of air held tight in anticipation. Nami had mentioned last night that they would get to Dressrosa shortly after noon today. It wasn’t surprising Luffy was already awake.</p><p>Zoro leaned against the railing just below Sunny’s head, tipped back to see the fading starlight. Over breakfast they would probably go over the plan again, for the dozenth time. Law had began repeating it like a mantra as they crept closer and closer to their destination. The man’s obsessive attention to every detail had started affecting even the Straw-hat’s nonchalance. A thin layer of aprehensin had settled over the crew as they had gone to bed. Zoro was pretty sure the surgeon was awake somewhere, angrily muttering under his breath every single way this could end badly. </p><p>Overthinking like that looked exhausting.</p><p>Zoro watched the stars. Luffy watched the ocean.</p><p>“Zoro.”</p><p>He looked down in time to see Luffy swing from the figure head, sandals clapping against the deck. He hummed in acknowledgment, figured Luffy probably wanted to talk about their plans for today. Not the actual plan, not the one Law had hammered into their heads with sheer tenacity, but the other one. A new island. New people, sights, food. Possible strong people to fight. The adventure, the call of the unknown. He was fully expecting Luffy to be near vibrating out of his skin with excitement, anxious to just <em>be there</em> already. Even though they were out to accomplish something, even if now they were moving up in the pirate world, making a bid for The Strongest, he knew that what Luffy really cared about beneath all that, was the experience.</p><p>Luffy loved the world. Wanted to see every inch of it, take it all in. They were planning on taking down an emperor, reconfigure the pirate world, make names for themselves. That was the goal, but on the way, why not enjoy the journey?</p><p>Zoro was expecting that, was expecting his captain to launch into hyper ramblings about all the things they might see today. He wasn’t expecting the thoughtful expression on Luffy’s face, or the words that followed.</p><p>“Mingo was there.”</p><p>It took a second, longer than it should have, for him to figure out what Luffy was referring to. He stood up straighter, unable to stop the apprehension that came with Luffy mentioning Ace’s execution. It was still unfamiliar territory, and despite getting it all out he knew it was still a delicate thing for Luffy. One conversation wasn’t going to change that but it was a start. The first stone to fall in the wall Luffy had built around himself.</p><p>“Law says he’s strong. Is he?” Zoro asked.</p><p>Luffy looked out at the lightening horizon. “I only saw him once but… yeah he is.”</p><p>Zoro hummed, leaned until their shoulders pressed together lightly. The action made his stomach squirm around in discomfort, not used to being the instigator of any sort of physical affection. But he was trying. Luffy pressed in a little closer and Zoro wasn’t sure what he had been so worried about.</p><p>“Stronger than us?” he asked more in effort to understand Luffy’s headspace than out of any sort of doubt.</p><p>Luffy met his eyes, a sharp grin stretching across his face. “No.”</p><p>Zoro grinned back, matched his captain’s ferocity with his own. Felt the same buzz of excitement he knew Luffy felt at what lie ahead of them. With the eight of them together there wasn’t anything to worry about. Once they set their minds to it there was nothing the Straw-hat’s couldn’t overcome. Those two years hadn’t been for nothing. He didn’t regret them, knew that despite all of their respective struggles and anxieties the rest of the crew didn’t either. They were strong, made stronger with all of them together. And here, with this man at his side, Zoro didn’t think there was anything they couldn’t accomplish.</p><p>The had all changed, were all a little different, interlocked a moved at a slightly different pace, but the core remained the same.</p><p>“Ahhh,” Luffy sighed, jumped to hop up on the railing behind them. He stayed close though, maintained the contact between them. “I hate waiting.”</p><p> Zoro smirked, there was the whining he had been expecting. “We’ll get there soon.”</p><p>“Not soon enough,” Luffy huffed, kicked his feet.</p><p>“Think of something else,” Zoro was more than experienced at quelling a Luffy sized pouting episode.</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>Zoro shrugged, tipped his head to meet Luffy’s eyes. “I dunno. Something that doesn’t have to deal with fighting.”</p><p>Luffy looked doubtful but seemed to think about it. Then, “What do you think Sanji’s making for breakfast?”</p><p>“Dunno.”</p><p>“Dan-Dan made the worst things for breakfast. Sanji’s is way better,” Luffy declared and Zoro had to wrack his brain for a moment to place the name. He vaguely remembered it being mentioned once or twice. Mountain bandit. Kid Luffy. Right.</p><p>Luffy didn’t talk about his childhood often, only ever bringing it up at seemingly random times. Like now, but perhaps he had his brother on his mind.</p><p>“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” That was the closest he was ever going to get to actually complimenting the cook out loud. Stupid swirly brow was cocky enough.</p><p>Luffy smiled, started humming some random tune under his breath with the occasional lyric describing various kinds of food items. Zoro closed his eyes, relaxed back into the solid wood behind him, the warmth beside him. The rest of the crew would be getting up soon. The day would start and there’d be strategy and battle plans and last minute preparations. There would be voices and hammers, music, twelve bodies rushing around the ship, probably at least one argument and the general chaos that came with them.</p><p>Until then though, he let himself relax, listened to the waves and Luffy’s off key singing.</p><p>Soon, there would be battles and fighting and they would all have to split into teams. They all had things they would have to do in order for this mad plan to succeed. They’ll be busy.</p><p>He enjoyed the moment while he still could, the simple ease of being at Luffy’s side while they watched the sun rise. Little precious things he would never be able to take for granted again, now that he knew what it was like without them. They had plans and goals and promises to get to but part of the reason he fought was for this. For this place. His place. To protect it, to keep it for as long as he was able.</p><p>This was enough. For now it was en-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ace said you’re supposed to ask before you kiss someone,” Luffy blurted out suddenly and Zoro yanked out his thoughts so violently he could only stare. He blinked, ran the words he thought he heard through his head a few times before realizing Luffy was watching him expectantly.</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>Luffy dipped his head, looked up through his bangs shyly. There was red on his cheeks that Zoro’s startled brain decided to fixate on, almost made him miss the rest.  “Sorry, I forgot last time, but I wasn’t sure if that was why.”</p><p>“Oh."</p><p> </p><p>Heat flushed straight through him and Zoro jerked upright, face on fire he turned so quickly he heard his neck crack. All his previous calm shattered to a million pieces and thrown overboard. He coughed to cover the blush, frowned to force his expression into anything less damning than he sure it was.</p><p> Were they really going to have this conversation? Now?</p><p>This was a topic he wasn’t ready for. Which was ridiculous because he had two years to prepare for it, could have rehearsed it a million times by now. But plans and complicated things rarely worked with Luffy involved and Zoro had always been the kind of person to take each day at a time. He hadn’t thought about it much, hadn’t figured out what he should say. Now it seemed time to figure it out.</p><p>He scraped together words.</p><p>“It’s okay,” he said gruffly because it had been. Surprising, and utterly confusing but okay. More than okay.</p><p>Luffy let out a little chuckle, airy and thin. “It’s kinda late now huh? My bad.”</p><p>The frantic edge of Zoro’s thoughts stilled, paused to think about Luffy’s words. How much he instantly hated them.</p><p>Was it too late? Had too much time passed? Were they too different now? Had too many things happened? Luffy had once told him they couldn’t go back in time, couldn’t take back the things they hadn’t said. But a greedy, hungry part of Zoro wanted to. Wanted to fall backwards to that one moment, say everything he should have before it was too late. There were words he had been carrying behind his ribs for so long now, the flesh bruised and battered from how viciously he had beaten them down. Just once, he wanted to be selfish, to claw everything better left in the past forward again, throw it all down at Luffy’s feet just to be free of it.</p><p>“That’s not… Luffy I-- ah,” he stumbled, eyes wide as words that came dangerously close to a secret almost fell out of his mouth. His heart slammed painfully against his ribs. He could feel Luffy’s eyes on him, somehow could feel the weight and for one dizzying moment thought maybe he should just say it. Get it over with.</p><p>Something held him back, prevented his lips from parting and kept his jaws locked no matter how hard he tried to pry them open. To say the truth, finally.</p><p>
  <strike>Two years was a lot of time.</strike>
</p><p>Zoro lifted his gaze, got caught in the net of Luffy’s stare. His eyes were wide, lips parted in a silent ‘o’. He sat ridged, body frozen as if locked in place. He didn’t even seem to be breathing and Zoro felt something clamp tight in his gut.</p><p>Not now.</p><p>He couldn’t do it.</p><p>There wasn’t time.</p><p>They’d reach Dressrosa in literal hours. The sun was already breaking over the horizon.</p><p>“There were other things to be doing,” he said numbly. Forced the wrong sounds from his lips, shoved words between them that bore the harsh sting of reality. Then and now.</p><p> His voice broke Luffy out of his stasis, body lurching back into motion, unfocused eyes blinked rapidly. He looked away from Zoro, tipped the brim of his hat but not quite fast enough for Zoro miss his frown.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>They fell into silence, Zoro leaned heavily against the railing, exhausted. He felt like he had swam half the Grand Line and they had just been sitting here talking. He couldn’t take all this emotional nonsense. So much had happened sin such a short period of time. He couldn’t keep up. The sky turned red and pink, daylight chasing away the stars. His stomach felt empty, hollow after being so full a minute ago. He wondered if there was ever going to be a ‘right time’.</p><p> </p><p>“Next time,” Luffy said. Somehow answered a question Zoro wouldn’t ever say aloud.</p><p>Zoro’s head shot up, a strangled “What?” in his throat.</p><p>Luffy laughed, kicked his legs on the railing and tilted his head up to the sky. A smile played at the corners of his lips, dawn painted his skin gold, dipped his eyes in honey. The horizon spanned endless and vast behind him.</p><p>There was something about Luffy painted in morning light. Something that made the air leave Zoro’s lungs, that burned his skin, dug at the very core of him and made it <em>ache.</em></p><p>“I’ll remember next time,” Luffy promised the heavens.</p><p>Zoro stared down at the waves below them, fists clenched tight over crossed arms, face burning and suffocating slowly because he couldn’t remember how to breathe. He swallowed around a dry mouth, tongue heavy and awkward.</p><p> It felt like they were tittering on the edge of something, toeing the line between then and now, them and we. He didn’t know what Luffy was implying. Wasn’t sure if he should take it the way that it sounded- the way that he hoped. Didn’t know where this conversation was leading them, two years in the making. He didn’t know anything at all.</p><p>So, like he always did when things felt beyond him, he let go, let Luffy show him the way.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I'm sorry lol.<br/>I am so sorry this chapter took such an insane amount of time to get out! Beginning of the semester anxiety got me hard. Also my classes are trying to kill me. I hope the fact that this chapter is really friggen long makes up for the wait???<br/>All the love from the last chapter made me so happy, you all are the best ever and I love you all so so much. I really tried to make this chapter worth it haha. Thank you for everyone who has left kudos/comments/subs. It seriously means the world to me.<br/>The next chapter is the last one?!?! Please look forward to it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Whatever End May Come</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“If you press me to say why I loved him,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I can say no more than because he was he,</em>
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<p>
  <em>And I was I.”</em>
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  <em>-Montaigne</em>
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<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everything goes wrong.</p>
<p>All those muttered, cursed, what ifs and pessimistic foretelling’s under Law’s breath become reality. They’re caught, Donflamingo was ready for them, traps laid out in careful, hidden places and the Straw-hat’s walked right into them. The crew is scattered, Marines, Admirals, Emperors, Kings, come for them at all sides, dividing and preying on the weakness they hadn’t hidden nearly well enough. The air in Dressrosa smelled rotten beneath the perfume, decayed beneath the glamour. The feeling of wrongness seeped down into Zoro’s bones, raises the hair along his arms the minute they enter the city and doesn’t leave until long after the dust has settled.</p>
<p>Plans never go they way they should. Ten against one of the long-standing powers of the underworld was never going to be fair odds. The stench of corruption runs deep into the city foundation, cuts every step forward, wraps around the throats of the people in a slow strangle they can’t even see.</p>
<p>Zoro realizes- all at once and with a clarity that stems from nightmares and haunted days- how fucked they are the minute Law’s body falls to the pavement before him. He realizes, without needing to glance at Luffy’s face, how desperate the situation is. As shots rings out against the sunshine Luffy is screaming- screaming in frustrated fury trapped behind sea stone Zoro realizes what hatred tastes like, what it sounds like as it fills his body, pulls it tight. He’s not thinking when he moves, reacts to an unspoken command, an instinctual desire to see Donflamingo painted in crimson, red as the stones beneath Law’s body because he <em>cannot. </em>He moves because Luffy can’t, because Luffy is stuck screaming in the perfect cage Donflamingo lured him to while their allies head rolls limply on the ground.</p>
<p>And Zoro can’t let it happen. Can’t let Luffy watch someone else die while he’s powerless and unable to move. He and Kinamon move in tandem, both driven by the same knee jerk reaction to respond, move, cut where their captain cannot. Two men built to be someone else’s sword, too stubborn to know when its hopeless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fugitora is a monster in his own right and Zoro wasn’t prepared for the power behind the Admirals attacks. Wasn’t prepared for the weight that threatened to smash the air from his lungs, turn his bones to dust. It took everything he had not be flattened like a bug beneath the marine’s heel, let alone stop the grinning pink demon from stringing Law up like some sick trophy won. Taunting jeered words, a man used to power and the view of people groveling beneath his heels.</p>
<p>Zoro couldn’t wait until Luffy smashed Donflamingo into the ground.</p>
<p>Law was taken. Luffy was trapped. The Sunny was under attack, Big Mam’s fury took half of the crew further away while the rest swayed on the brink of a war they had nothing to do with. Luffy seethed with a quiet rage, barely contained and devastating in its power. Gunshots echoed in Zoro’s ears as the crew looked to their captain, waited for his words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fight.</p>
<p>Fight and get away.</p>
<p>Fight and win.</p>
<p>Yank a heavenly being out of the sky and bury him beneath the pain and hatred of years.</p>
<p>Luffy gave the word, and they followed.</p>
<p>The Straw-hats went to war.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was running. Zoro felt like he had spent the entire day running all over this god forsaken island, going in circles, minutes pressing against the back of his neck and no progress gained. There was a countdown hovering above their heads and every second felt like it was wasted. Time had never been on their side and once again it was digging its claws into the entire crew. Law’s life hung by a thread, the absence of half the crew ached quietly beside the strength of Luffy’s conviction. Franky was speeding towards the frayed edges of a doomed plan, Robin and Usopp heading straight into a den of wolves with little more than defiance to protect them.</p>
<p>Zoro was running.</p>
<p>He didn’t particularly care about the lives of the people around him, but the situation pissed him off. He didn’t like people who used underhanded lies to get what they wanted. Didn’t like when something evil pretended to be justified. That kind of cowardly bullshit would have made him want to break Donflamingo’s porcelain mask even before his nakema got emotionally invested. And they were invested now. Luffy was going to save Law, was going to repay the debt even if he had to burn the entire city to the ground to do it.</p>
<p>Zoro would help him.</p>
<p>If they ever actually got there.</p>
<p>Luffy was crying. Steams of tears and snot mixing together over blotchy cheeks and sobs distorting the cadence of his steps. Zoro had to practically drag him along just to keep them moving. It was a mess. He had no idea why his captain- who previously had been full of destructive wraith- had broken out of the coliseum and turned into a blubbery, sobbing sap in a carp suit. Luffy managed to sputter out the words “brother” and “alive” and “Sabo”. None of which made any sense because as far as Zoro knew Luffy only had one brother. However, there were lots of things he didn’t know about Luffy’s past and another random family member popping up shouldn’t be surprising. Either way it seemed like a good thing, despite the tears.</p>
<p>He barely knew what to do about Luffy’s sad tears, what exactly was he supposed to do with the happy ones? He continued to drag Luffy along, snapping and growling at him to <em>stop crying and move god damnit Luffy!</em></p>
<p>“But- bu- Zoooorrrroooooooooooo,” Luffy beat at the cat suit Zoro was wearing(and absolutely not thinking about how ridiculous it was). “He’s aliiiiiiiiiivee.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I got it,” Zoro batted the fin covered hands away before they could yank the suit right off. They were supposed to be blending in. “It’s a good thing yeah? Why are you crying? Damnit stop pulling my tail.”</p>
<p>“I’m so glad,” Luffy warbled, bottom lip shaking and doe eyes seeking. Zoro sighed tiredly. He was hyper conscious of Kinemon’s presence as he used the fur of the cat suit to wipe at some of the wetness off Luffy’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“Me too. Tell me about it later okay?” he said softly. “We gotta get Tarao right?”</p>
<p>Luffy sniffed but nodded. “And kick ‘Mingo’s ass.”</p>
<p>“Exactly,” Zoro smiled, and they were running again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There were times when there was only Luffy could do something. Many occasions in the time they had known each other Zoro had gone one way and Luffy another- often headfirst into trouble. Luffy had a knack for knowing exactly what he should be doing, exactly who he needed to be fighting. It was the job of the rest of them to clear the way. Zoro didn’t mind usually, knew that this was the role that he could fill to best serve his captain. Pica was a pain in the ass, too troublesome to be left to his own devices. His devil fruit was a problem, could potentially mess everything up if Zoro didn’t stop him.</p>
<p>The thrill of the fight thrummed in his veins as he sent Luffy on a head. Their eyes met, held as too many things raced between them. Luffy was still scared, Zoro knew, and not for himself. It wasn’t the kind of fear that just went away, couldn’t be erased just because they wanted it to. He knew, he understood, remembered how hard it had been to walk away from Luffy all those years ago in a country made of sand and an enemy too big for them. He remembered all the times after that when he turned away and relied on belief. No one knew how strong Luffy was better than Zoro. No one believed in the power behind his will as much as Zoro. Luffy would be the Pirate King.</p>
<p>But two years ago the world had ripped that man to pieces and Zoro hadn’t been there to hold them together. Seeing the effects of that failure would never stop twisting his gut into knots. He lived with that, wouldn’t ever forget the weight of two years. He understood Luffy. In a perfect world he wouldn’t ever let the other man out of his sight, would chain him to his side and never let go. He was greedy by nature, wanted all of Luffy’s smiles and would destroy anything that threatened to take them away. But to do that would be an injustice to Luffy, would rob him of all the things he loved most in the world. Above all- above the hurt, the fear, the tingling sensation of doubt that tried to break his resolution, he trusted Luffy. Now, after everything, more than ever.</p>
<p>“Go. I’ll catch up,” Zoro flashed a smile, more teeth and too feral to be considered pleasant. Luffy frowned, bit his lip but took the promise for what it was. Because while Luffy would always come find Zoro, the same could be said the other way. No matter how far Luffy went ahead, Zoro would follow.</p>
<p>No manner of time could change that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dressrosa was a disaster. A beautiful island ransacked by war. Buildings fell, fires raged, the streets filled with blood and the screams of people who only just realized they were living in a nightmare. Zoro had no idea what was going on anymore, only paid attention to the next enemy in front of him. The whole place had been turned inside out. He should have killed Pica when he had the chance. There wasn’t time for regret though when Law was flopped like a bloody rag over the back of a mad bull and hundreds of mercenaries were suddenly pledging to take Donflamingo’s head. Luffy had a collection of new scrapes on his skin already and it wasn’t even close to the end. The air smelt of iron and smoke.</p>
<p>Zoro swung his swords.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t see Luffy again until the end. Before that it had just been the sounds; booming punches, the rumble of crumbling homes, the crackle of Haki turning the air to static and every hair raised on his body. He didn’t know how the fight went. Didn’t witness the fall of a heavenly demon. He couldn’t imagine it, didn’t have the imagination to picture something so amazing. He was sorry to have missed it but he had been too busy trying to hold off the birdcage. He had left Luffy in Law’s hands. He would kill the bastard himself if that turned out to be a mistake.</p>
<p>His arms shook when the cage finally fell. His body felt like a squeezed fruit, every ounce of haki and strength drained. It hadn’t been a glorious bloody battle. Even Pica hadn’t been some amazing fight. It was what needed to be done, what he could do to give them- to give Luffy- time.</p>
<p>When Zoro saw Luffy finally it was a crimson unconscious body in ragged clothing carried by a man Zoro didn’t know. His stomach fell flat to the earth for the terrible few seconds it took to be close enough to see the steady rise of Luffy’s chest. Zoro unconsciously timed his breaths to the same pace, counted them. His captain was covered in bruises from head to toe but he was breathing, was alive and if the trembling smiles of the people around them was anything to go by; victorious.</p>
<p>Guess he couldn’t kill Law just yet. It wouldn’t have been hard, considering the man himself looked like he was one step into deaths door. However bad Luffy looked, Law looked ten times worse. Zoro was begrudgingly satisfied.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Near death wasn’t enough to stop Law from being a demanding asshole. They had managed to corral all the Straw-hat’s into a tiny little cottage far away from the prying eyes of the townsfolk and lingering marines. They all looked like hell. Half of Franky’s face was peeling off, his joints gave off sparks as split wires misfired. Usopp was basically a mass of talking bandages. Even Robin sported scrapes and marks on her pale skin. In contrast, Zoro was perfectly fine. Tired, but otherwise he had managed to go this whole ordeal with barely a bruise. Seeing them made him feel like he should have fought harder. Should have done more to thin the waves of Donflamingo’s men. He had spent far too much time playing cat and mouse with Pica. Fighting was what he was best at. His strength was what he gave to the crew. Yet this time it was Zoro who at the end of the day had the energy to still move around. It was a disorienting change of pace.</p>
<p>As one of the few people still able to move without opening up cuts or falling over, Zoro found himself on medic duty guided by the barely conscious, hovering orders of Law.</p>
<p>Before they had left the Sunny, Chopper had forced first aid kits into as many hands as would accept them. Between the one kept in Franky’s thigh and the one in Usopp’s bag, they had enough of Chopper’s balms and medicine to go around. Law couldn’t even move but he stayed awake long enough to order Zoro around, snapping about everything and making the swordsman rethink his previous thought not to just finish the man off. He demanded Luffy be treated before anyone else despite bleeding onto the floor weakly and Zoro could almost respect him for that.</p>
<p>Zoro cleaned the gravel out of Luffy’s skin, smoothed balms over cuts and rubbed lotion over purple and black bruises. None of the cuts were deep but they littered Luffy’s skin like a million papercuts, reached from his eyes brows down the bottom of his feet.  He wrapped clean cotton over every wound, took extra care that the fabric lay flat and tight as not to bunch or move as his captain slept. There was angry swelling along Luffy’s throat, a gash matted the hair on the side of his head. Zoro grumbled even as he listened carefully to Law’s detailed instruction on the best way to sew the skin back together. His hands were steady as he carefully brushed dirty black strands from Luffy’s forehead.</p>
<p> He had fought hard. Zoro was proud of him.</p>
<p>They’d done something no one thought was possible. Everything collapsed and fell apart, but a little chaos had never been enough to stop them before. They were one step closer now.</p>
<p>Luffy smiled in his sleep and Zoro had never loved him more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was funny, how even after spending every day with someone it never seemed to be enough. Since coming back they had sailed together, laughed together, fought, ate, slept, lived. Yet it was never enough. Never enough to do or say all the things that existed between them. Never enough to satisfy the gnawing hunger in the pit of Zoro’s stomach. He told himself he could live this way, could be happy with what he’d been given. There wasn’t anything to complain about, really. The distance between he and Luffy was smaller now, wasn’t it? They had gotten closer, inch by inch. Or at least Zoro thought they had, hoped it was true and not just wishful thinking.</p>
<p> It didn’t feel like before, because time didn’t work that way. They couldn’t go back to who/what/when they were. Days, weeks, months, years had been inscribed upon their skin, branded into memory and fused with who they were- now. Now, maybe Zoro was more comfortable with the weight of his swords(and what they stood for) in his hands. Maybe Luffy was more used to the weight of the future on his shoulders.</p>
<p>More. It was more. They were more. Never less- as he had feared- it wasn’t the lack of old things that he should be concerned about but the creation of new ones.</p>
<p>Two years was a lot of time.</p>
<p>The past didn’t matter, only the present. Zoro was a man who didn’t like complicated things, didn’t like to second guess and only believed in the things he saw before him. He didn’t understand why it was so complicated, why his chest could feel simultaneously full and hollow all at once. He didn’t know why Luffy’s smile was sometimes the brightest part of his day yet left him feeling dry and parched. This was why he’d never wanted it, never wanted to feel more than he was supposed to. Never wanted to cherish anyone more than his dream, rely on anyone else but himself. All of that went out the window when he met Luffy and there wasn’t any point to complaining about it now. He would never regret it. He might have turned into a lovestruck fool but he wouldn’t regret it.</p>
<p>Somethings are more important than self-pride.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Luffy woke up after three days and the world started moving again. There had been an odd stasis, as if collectively everyone had hit pause on time and waited. The straw-hats recuperated, healed, and laid out their next course of action. There was a lot going on; the Sunny, the Marines still hanging out in the city, how the hell they were supposed to get to Zou, and of course- what the events of Dressrosa meant to the rest of the world. His captain didn’t care about any of that. As soon as he was up Luffy was moving, laughing and bouncing with a type of deep seeded excitement that was contagious. Even Law, who had fallen into brooding silence was forced to crack the occasional smile.</p>
<p>For Zoro, he wasn’t worried. These types of things tended to work themselves out, there was no use dwelling on it. If the marines wanted to attack, then fine. If Kaido himself showed up to claim all their heads, then at least he’d have something interesting to do. They’d figure out a way to get to Zou and meet up with the others. If that damn cook let the Sunny be destroyed by Big Mom’s ship, then he’d have more than just Franky’s wraith to deal with.</p>
<p>There were tales of what each member went through during the battle, Luffy eating up every word with stars in his eyes and pride in his smile. Usopp spun a far exaggerated story of how Zoro defeated Pica and the swordsman considered correcting him up until the moment Luffy turned to grab his arm with frenzied excitement and a loud cheer of “Zoro’s so amazing!”.</p>
<p>He hadn’t been able to say much after that. Didn’t say anything at all even when Luffy tilted to rest his head on Zoro’s shoulder for the rest of the stories. Didn’t even breathe when a small hand snaked around his and intertwined their fingers together quietly. He didn’t speak, breathe, blink, think at all because he knew the moment he did, time would rip it all away and he’d be left to silently crumble to ash.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They wouldn’t be the Straw-hat Pirates if they managed to leave an island quietly or peacefully. Luffy had half the damn population following him out and a Marine Admiral who suddenly felt like doing his job. It was a crazy scene. The people of Dressrosa celebrated Luffy like some kind of hero. They weren’t. Not even close but somehow they seemed to always end up saving someone. It was ridiculous to think of a pirate with a bounty on his head as a hero. They only did what they wanted and sometimes what they wanted was to beat the shit out of guy who happened to be suppressing an entire civilization. Zoro hadn’t set out to save anyone, maybe Luffy had since he was fond of that princess, but it was coincidence really. Pirates could never be heroes.</p>
<p>The people of Dressrosa would figure that out.</p>
<p>Zoro didn’t blame them for seeing Luffy’s light and thinking a savior had descended on them. No one could resist Luffy’s pull, the gravity that sucked people in until they didn’t have a choice but to follow him. Everyone either loved or hated Luffy after meeting him and more times that not even the hate dissolved into grudging fondness. It was kind of gross, watching people fawn and fall to their knees over his captain. It was only right, that the future Pirate King would have the hearts of millions. He was a man destined to be followed.</p>
<p>On the other hand, Zoro had seen Luffy get stuck in the rigging after trying to see if he could stretch his body out like a second sail. He had also seen Luffy nearly bite clean through his own fingers because he was shoving food down his throat too fast to notice what he was chewing. Luffy was a contradiction like that. A small man with wrinkled, frayed clothing, messy hair, and careless actions yet powerful enough to inspire thousands. Strong enough to somehow convince seven captains in their own right to kneel before him and offer a Father Cup.</p>
<p>It took everything Zoro had not to burst out laughing over the whole thing. It wasn’t their fault; they couldn’t know that the last thing Luffy wanted was to stand above thousands and rule over them. They couldn’t know that Luffy didn’t want grand oaths and ceremonies to forever bound people to him. None of the Straw-hats had ever spoken an oath and Luffy would never ask them to. Zoro was probably the closest, but it had been his choice. Luffy didn’t want people to bow to him, he wanted companions to stand beside him, to move forward with. What the fleet captains were proposing was more than an alliance, fundamentally different than their agreement with the Hearts captain. They wanted Luffy to govern them and Luffy wanted them to do whatever they wanted on their own.</p>
<p>It was an amusing exchange. The sake was good though.</p>
<p>They figured it out, eventually. The Straw-hat Fleet was born and while Luffy grumbled and whined about it, this was a good thing. Kaido, Big Mom, and Blackbeard all had massive fleets at their disposal. If they were to go head-to-head against any of these powers, then they were going to need more than just the nine of them. Not that they couldn’t do it on their own, but some back up to get rid of the grunts would be helpful. There would come a time to call on these men.</p>
<p>Zoro smiled, watching the party to commemorate the victory of Dressrosa and the establishing of the fleet. Ships sailed all around them, spots of lights spanning into the horizon, lighting up the night as thousands of bodies moved and danced collectively. It was good, how it ended. Somehow, they had gotten here, which is not something he could have ever imagined happening. Two and half years ago he and Luffy had set sail in a ratty little dingy with barely enough space for the two of them. Now, they had a whole fleet of ships at their disposal. That day in the sun, all that time ago, this wasn’t how he had imagined his life going when he had accepted that offered hand. He couldn’t have known, but maybe he had sensed it. Maybe that’s why, despite any sane person walking away, he had stayed.</p>
<p>With a scoff, Zoro downed the rest of his sake. No, he hadn’t had a single fucken clue back then. If someone would have told him that the scrawny, dirty kid he’d met back then would be everything Luffy is now, everything he is to <em>Zoro</em>, he wouldn’t have believed them.  Probably would have laughed in their face. A lot had changed, in ways no one could have predicted.</p>
<p>Parties with his crew were always crazy but this one especially so, far too much alcohol passing between rowdy pirates. The level of joviality reminded Zoro of Water 7, when they had all just been glad to be alive, high off the feeling of overcoming the impossible. Perhaps it was similar. The pride simmering in Zoro’s chest definitely had a likeness to back then. Proud of this crew, of their strength, how far they’d come.</p>
<p>The lack of Nami’s piercing cackle or Sanji spinning around like a fool couldn’t be missed though. The musicians on board weren’t nearly as good as Brook. Chopper wasn’t around to accompany Luffy in his ridiculous chopsticks dance. Zoro knew Kinemon was worried about Mononoske, the samurai oddly subdued the past few days. Once they were all back together, and Law back safely with his own crew Luffy would probably call for a party do over, make sure the absent members didn’t miss out on any of the fun.</p>
<p>Zoro moved away from the main press of the party, inhaled large gulps of cool sea air. It was late, but no one seemed tired yet. They’d all probably keep going until they all passed out. Considering how injured several of them had been, Zoro was surprised they had the energy to keep up with Luffy. He had to commend them for their drinking capacity if anything, even he was feeling on the better side of tipsy. They had sailed far enough out of Dressrosa’s climate for the night to hold a chill, the briskness felt amazing on his heated skin. The sky spanned dark and endless on all sides, the Grand Line for once giving them a break with calm seas. Perhaps even the weather agreed they deserved to rest.</p>
<p>In his solitary bubble, outside of the heat and energy going on a few yards from him, Zoro relaxed. He enjoyed a party as well as any pirate, but the peace was welcome. The constant sound of waves against the hull was just barely loud enough to hear over the clamor, the moon crested high and bright in the sky. Normal sounds, constant sights he had seen and heard millions of times over the years at sea. It was difficult now, to imagine the two long years on land, his only connection to the ocean from the sidelines on a rocky beach. Everything from those days seemed grey and blurry in comparison to the vibrancy of every day since they’d all come back together.</p>
<p>He realized that he was happy. Content even, in the way beast were beneath the rays of the sun during an afternoon nap. This was his life, set to the correct tempo and moving forward along a path he couldn’t see but with the knowledge that the destination was only half the fun. Maybe it wasn’t planned and maybe there were still things left wanting in the base of his spine but it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t wrong. Not anymore. He knew what wrong tasted like, what emptiness felt like. He knew how hard it was to breathe around the gap in his chest, how heavy his legs felt when he was only moving in place. Time had taught him that.</p>
<p>There was no going backwards, only forward. He had something to run towards again, a familiar set of shoulders to follow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As is their way, as it had always been, Zoro didn’t need to turn around to identify the sound of footsteps beside him. He didn’t need to look to know the presence that appeared next to him.</p>
<p>“Tired already?” he asked, shot a lazy grin at Luffy’s profile.</p>
<p>“No way,” Luffy huffed. “There’s still so much food left to eat.”</p>
<p>“More sake,” Zoro nodded. “Break?”</p>
<p>Luffy shrugged, loose and easy in his movements as he flapped his hand. “I saw you.”</p>
<p>“Did you need me for something?” Zoro asked with a raised eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Nope.” Luffy shook his head, his hat swung from the ratty tie at his throat. Zoro frowned at the response but let it go. Most of what Luffy did was instinctual. He had the attention span of a squirrel, so Zoro doubted he’d stay away from the bustle of the party for long. He wasn’t about to ask Luffy to leave or anything. They watched the distant ships together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How’s Torao?” Zoro asked because he felt like he should.</p>
<p>Luffy hummed, leaned against the railing next to Zoro, tilted his face up to the breeze. “He’ll be okay.”</p>
<p>Zoro nodded absently. That sounded about right. The other captain had taken on a kind of lost pensive expression the last few days. An empty cast had taken over his gold eyes, like he was moving and breathing but hadn’t fully accepted why.  It would take a while before he got used it- being free. Really free, without all the things he had kept himself chained down by. Zoro would almost be worried about him… if he actually cared.</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t you be with him?” he asked, not really knowing why but maybe it was because whenever someone was struggling, those were the people Luffy clung the tightest to. Stayed with them until they could stand on their own again. Since they had taken the surgeon on board the Sunny Luffy had spent the majority of his time with the other captain. They had been together for the majority of the time in Dressrosa as well.</p>
<p>Zoro was not bitter about that.</p>
<p>“No,” Luffy said, surprising him. “This is where I should be.”</p>
<p>Zoro looked down at him, drawn by instinct or inevitability. He met pointed, serious eyes and suddenly his focus contracted, minimized down to just the two of them; the scant amount of space between their shoulders, the expression on Luffy’s face. The ease in Luffy’s shoulders had stiffened, all scraps of merriment gone from his person. The air between them felt charged, the peace ripped away so quickly Zoro was left unbalanced.</p>
<p>He turned, faced his captain with the entirety of his attention, felt anticipation boil in his stomach. Something in him coiled tight, a strange kind of awareness that something was about to happen- similar to the second before he picked of an enemy’s killing intent or the instant he felt threatening eyes on the back of his neck. Only this wasn’t a battle, and there wasn’t any danger. There was just Luffy, looking up at Zoro with a slight smile. The new one, that was small and secret, that curled just barely at the edges of his lips but exploded in his eyes- vibrant, breathtaking.</p>
<p>“I like Torao a lot,” Luffy moved to match Zoro posture, lifted his chin, a determined look in his eyes. “But I like Zoro more.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To his credit, the swordsman didn’t react to this. He knew Luffy liked him, obviously, there wasn’t anyone closer than the two of them. And it wasn’t surprising that Luffy put him above Law in terms of affection- Zoro was his first mate, a member of his crew, they had been together for a long time. Crew was everything to Luffy, so this kind of declaration didn’t really surprise him. It wasn’t uncommon for Luffy to suddenly say things like this to people, he had never been shy about it. Why he felt the need to say it now, Zoro didn’t understand.</p>
<p>“I know,” Zoro frowned, wondered if Luffy still thought he was jealous about Law. He wasn’t.</p>
<p>Mostly.</p>
<p>Luffy was staring; that penetrating look he got sometimes like he was trying to claw down into Zoro soul and pick it to pieces. It used to bring a sense of panic to the man, uncomfortable and scared what his captain might be able to see. Zoro used to hate that look, hated how vulnerable it made him feel, how exposed. Now though, now they had come a long way. So much had happened, too much, too many things to ever go back to how it was. He wasn’t scared anymore. He let Luffy see.</p>
<p>“It’s different,” Luffy said. “With Zoro.”</p>
<p>Zoro blinked, rolled the words back through his head. Thought about it. His heartrate spiked, a shaky hope slithered between his ribs and he tried to push it away. Luffy wasn’t saying what he thought he was. He couldn’t be. Zoro couldn’t jump to conclusions.</p>
<p>“Wha-“</p>
<p>“Tarao said it’ll take a week or so to reach Zou,” Luffy rushed, like he had to get the words out that minute, that second, that breath. Now, while they could.</p>
<p>They had time.</p>
<p>Zoro inhaled. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>Luffy reached out, curled his fingers in the fabric of Zoro’s shirt. He didn’t pull, or hold on too tightly, just tangled his fingers there, anchored them together.  His eyes were wide, dark in the night, reflected starlight and held galaxies within their depths. Zoro couldn’t have looked away if he tried. He waited.</p>
<p>“Zoro I— ah. Zoro is—“ Luffy stumbled, stared up at Zoro with pinched brows, flushed cheeks, a panicked frustration on his face. It was rare to see Luffy stumble. Even more so to see him at a loss for words. There were a million questions on his face, hung from trembling lips.</p>
<p> And Zoro knew them, was painfully familiar with them because they were all the same questions he had asked himself, those years ago. The same questions he had tortured himself over, pushed and pulled himself to fit around. The same questioned that had haunted him, in days and nights, in grey sunrises and tragic sunsets. The questions he hadn’t let himself think about anymore because he had never gathered the courage to ask them. And the exact same ones Luffy had given him an answer to maybe, once, right before everything changed.</p>
<p>He realized then, with a startling clarity that threatened to weaken his knees and crush his lungs that it was his turn. To answer. To give Luffy back that certainty he once had before it was broken and shredded by time and hurt. Luffy hadn’t heard him back then, hadn’t heard those desperate words whispered partially in prayer. Everything had been wrong then; fear, guilt and circumstance ripped the meaning away. But now. Now it was him and Luffy on a dark section of a ship that wasn’t theirs, lights and merriment filling the night air a few feet away while they were locked securely in their own bubble. There weren’t any battles to be fought or enemies to escape. For once time wasn’t weighing heavy on their necks. Wasn’t pressing them forward when all they ever had really needed was a moment to stop, listen, see what had been right in front of them this whole time.</p>
<p>Luffy was looking right at him, hand shaking slightly in the fabric of Zoro’s shirt. He could hear him now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you,” Zoro blurted, surprised how easy it was. Surprised by the instant loosing of his chest, the unraveling of hours, weeks, months, years spent carrying the weight of three words. He felt dizzy, lightheaded, breathless. “I love you, Luffy. For a long time- maybe since the begi—”</p>
<p>His jumbled spilling of words was cut off by Luffy’s hand tightening and Zoro was yanked down, barely allowed a shallow noise of surprise before Luffy’s lips were on his and he didn’t think anymore.</p>
<p>His lips were chapped. Dry skin rough against Zoro’s, belying the softness as Luffy melded their mouths together. It was different than the last time. Gone was the hesitation, replaced by a desperate sort of neediness. Zoro could taste it, recognized it as the same wrenching hunger that throbbed in his chest. Luffy pushed up into him, harsh and bordering on painful as their teeth knocked together and it was more of an attack than a kiss, but Zoro couldn’t bring himself to care. He wrapped his arms around Luffy, threaded his fingers through tangled black hair, crushed their bodies together in a mindless attempt to be closer.</p>
<p>Luffy jerked back a moment later, lips red and eyes wide. “Wait. Shit. I forgot to ask aga-“</p>
<p>Zoro didn’t let him finish, swooped down to catch him in a bruising kiss. Luffy gasped out a soft sound, their lips separating for only a moment before coming back together again, both of them trying to convey two years of unspoken words with dragging hands and panted breaths. Zoro inhaled the heat of Luffy, felt it set fire through his veins, scorch burning trails beneath his skin. He licked a moan off of Luffy’s tongue, relishing in the way he melted into him. The world constricted down to the two of them; the glide of their lips, the sound of their heavy breathing, the feel of hot hands through wrinkled fabric.</p>
<p>Zoro spiraled. Drowned. Burned. Crumbled and was remade again. He felt like he was exploding, everything crashing together with enough force he swore he could hear the earth shudder. He clung to Luffy, helpless beneath the tide of emotion. A groan ripped itself from his throat as Luffy sucked on his lip, hands clawed across his shoulders.</p>
<p>The edge of the railing dug into his lower back and he didn’t remember when Luffy had pushed him back against it, but he was thankful for the support when Luffy’s lips left his to mouth along his jaw, trailed searing marks down his throat. He tipped his head back, tried to force air back into his lungs, maybe remember what words were but there where teeth digging into the soft flesh of his ear, clinking against the gold of his earrings. Hot breath brought a full body shiver that shook Zoro down to his bones, the grip he had on Luffy’s waist would have left bruises on anyone else. Fingers snuck into the folds of his shirt; palms spread flat on his chest like Luffy was trying to memorize it. Luffy whined something that might have been his name, airy and pitched high. Heat coiled tight in his gut as Zoro crashed their mouths back together in a hungry kiss, wet and messy.  He ran his hands up Luffy’s back, traced along the ridges of muscle. Luffy’s skin was smooth and warm beneath his fingers, soft yet solid when he dug into the indents at the base of Luffy’s spine.</p>
<p>Time stopped, began endless, slowed and stretched. The sound of the party buzzed in Zoro’s ears, the smell of the ocean faded beneath Luffy’s scent. Cold air hit the sweat between his shoulder blades as Luffy’s impatient hands knocked Zoro’s top from his shoulders. The fabric pooled at his elbows, restricted his movements but taking it off completely would mean removing his hands from Luffy’s skin and Zoro couldn’t bring himself to do it. The connection was the only thing keeping him present, the feeling of Luffy moving, breathing and real in his arms.</p>
<p>This was real. They were here.</p>
<p>It was hard to tell who was most desperate between the two of them, both clung and pulled each other close then closer still. Luffy was a force, all biting nails and fervent hunger— too much. Not enough. Zoro was overwhelmed. He pulled away, gulped down air because he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. Luffy had a thigh wedged between Zoro’s and if they didn’t stop now, he was confident they’d wind up sprawled on the deck putting on a show for the entire ship.</p>
<p>“Luffy,” Zoro managed to grit out. Luffy had his mouth attached to Zoro’s collarbones and didn’t react. It took a moment before Zoro could speak again. “Hey. Hold up.”</p>
<p>He pushed against Luffy’s shoulders gently, untangled their limbs just enough to let the night air cool their heated skin. Luffy looked up with wild eyes, cheeks flushed and lips slick. </p>
<p>“What? What’s wrong?” he panted.</p>
<p>Zoro let out a small laugh, breathless and most definitely not giddy. “If you hadn’t noticed, we’re not alone out here.”</p>
<p>Luffy blinked blankly before swiveling his head back towards the party. From here they couldn’t see anyone, but Zoro was sure at least a few people had gotten an eye full, and everyone was politely ignoring their little spot on the ship. For now. Drunk pirates were only accommodating for so long.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Luffy said.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>His gaze swung back to take in Zoro’s bare chest and the places where Luffy’s saliva was still drying on his neck. Zoro was pretty sure there was going to be at least one mark in the morning. The thought was oddly pleasing.</p>
<p>“Oh. Uh. Oops?” Luffy grinned, lopsided and so, so beautiful. He yanked green fabric back up over Zoro’s shoulders, patted the disheveled clothing back into place.  “My bad.”</p>
<p>Zoro snorted, debated telling Luffy that he really wasn’t complaining but figured it should have been obvious. It was easier to think now that his blood had cooled a bit, but his heart was still racing high in his ears and there was a stupid smile tugging at the edges of his still tingling lips. He’d told Luffy he loved him. And Luffy had kissed him. It had really happened.</p>
<p>He laughed, unable to contain the bubbling sensation welling up from his chest and pulled Luffy close again to rest their foreheads together. “Okay.”</p>
<p>Calloused hands found their way around his neck and Luffy beamed up at him, a sunrise in the middle of the night. His eyes glittered in the dim lighting; his warmth chased away the chilly breeze. They stared at each other- in awe, wonder, excitement, happiness.</p>
<p>Zoro licked his lips, tasted Luffy on them. “Do you want to go back?”</p>
<p>Luffy’s hand moved to curl around Zoro jaw. He shook his head. “No.”</p>
<p>Zoro leaned into the touch, closed his eyes for a moment because his head was a wreck and there were too many things swirling around inside of him to handle. The was a current traveling underneath his skin, electric with the thought of <em>this is real, this is real, this is real. </em>He probably had a stupid expression on his face but for once couldn’t be bothered to correct it. He wanted this moment to go on forever, to hit pause and never move from this spot. He felt like as soon as they did, reality would crash back in and shatter the content air, rip everything away again. He didn’t want to give it back. Didn’t think he could move on from this again. The last time they had kissed it had been followed by an ending rather than a beginning. He desperately wanted this to be a beginning. He didn’t think he could handle anything less.</p>
<p>“Zoro.”</p>
<p>He opened his eyes to find Luffy watching him, he smiled when their eyes met.  “Hey.”</p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>“I love you,” Luffy said. He didn’t hesitate, didn’t even blink just spoke with all the confidence and certainty as he did with everything in his life. Zoro gaped at him, lost all the air in his lungs. Goosebumps spread down his arms, the hair on the back of his neck rose. “I love you. I love you.”</p>
<p>Zoro continued to stare and Luffy laughed, obnoxious and too loud for the tenderness of the words. His teeth flashed in the moonlight, his mouth stretched too wide and his shoulders shook. His hair was a disaster, his clothes rumpled and stained. The bandages on his arms needed to be changed. There was a piece of food stuck near his ear. A mess. A beautiful, chaotic mess.</p>
<p>But he was Zoro’s.</p>
<p>Zoro bent down and kissed the smile he had dreamed of kissing a thousand times, felt Luffy’s lips curl against his in a way he had thought about a million of ways. Luffy sank into him in the most of perfect of ways. Better than anything Zoro could have ever imagined, better than any dream. He couldn’t give it up. Wouldn’t. No matter what the world threw at them after this moment, after this night, Zoro would never let this go. Never again. If this was something he could have, if Luffy thought he was worthy of it, then Zoro would hold on to it or die trying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shockingly, suspiciously, no imminent threat of death immediately appeared after that night. He and Luffy fell asleep curled into each other in Zoro’s borrowed bunk and woke to the world still standing, the sun still shining. Life went on.</p>
<p>They parted from the Fleet captains and continued on towards Zou on the creepiest ship Zoro had ever laid eyes on. (The only way he could sleep at night was to religiously not look at the shape or décor of the ship at all. If he pretended not to see it, it wasn’t there.) Crest Head’s crew was annoying but smart enough to stay out of Zoro’s way when he told them to shut up. Luffy was one thing but it was uncomfortable to be so… revered by people. It took days before the crew stopped crying every time Zoro spoke directly to any one of them. He couldn’t tell if they were terrified of him or wanted to suck his dick. Maybe both.</p>
<p>He didn’t think about it.</p>
<p>The time spent on that ship felt like some bizarre dream. Bartholomew had relinquished his captain quarters to Luffy and Zoro had happily accepted for the both of them. Every night they fell together onto a real mattress and woke caressed by the suns glow. Days were spent lounging together on the deck; laughing, napping, whatever they wanted. There wasn’t a crew to run, marines on their tail, battles to be fought. There was just them, trapped on a tiny ship with way too many other people and half their crew who knew better than to interrupt.</p>
<p>The first time he kissed Luffy in front of the crew he had expected some kind of reaction, some kind of surprise but Franky didn’t even bat an eyelash and Usopp had only complained about ‘gross PDA’. Robin smiled wider than he had ever seen from her.</p>
<p>Later, as the passed one another she squeezed Zoro’s arm and smiled a quiet, “Take care of him.”</p>
<p>And that was that.</p>
<p>He wasn’t convinced he’d earned it. That light, the warmth of Luffy’s skin pressed tight against him, the soft expression that Luffy got sometimes that Zoro was only just now noticing. He didn’t think he deserved to know or experience all the new things Luffy had shown him, gave him. In that short week, so many things were different yet bewilderingly the same. So much had changed between them but was exactly the same. Zoro was himself and Luffy was Luffy. They bickered, goofed off, got in more than one argument about Luffy hogging the bed and did all the things they usually did. Only now there were stolen kisses, hushed words spoken in the dead of night, hands pressed together and an undeniable sense of closeness that was simultaneously overwhelming and the most natural thing in the world. Zoro didn’t think it was possible, at this point, for there so be so many new experiences between then. More they could share.</p>
<p>He knew the arch of Luffy’s spine as it lifted off the mattress in need, anxious to be closer. He knew Luffy’s skin, the feel beneath his hands, the taste of salt and man beneath his tongue. He learned new pitches to Luffy’s voice as it panted in his ear, stretched tight and high as they both unraveled. Luffy gave more of himself everyday and Zoro didn’t think he had any right to have it, really. In all these years and everything they had been through together there was too much pain along the road for him to ever imagine they’d end up this way. He didn’t understand why Luffy chose him, out of anyone, to share so much of himself with. There was always more. More and more of this man who could span horizons, block out the sun and consume worlds. And Zoro took it all. Grabbed hold of every new detail, every little piece and devoured it with a greed he hadn’t known existed within himself. It was immense, insatiable hunger for everything he had denied himself for so long. He was too selfish to bother hesitating, couldn’t bring himself to overthink every little action anymore because as long as Luffy was freely allowing him to touch, hold, <strong>be</strong> with him then Zoro wasn’t going to waste time with insecurity. He didn’t think he deserved it, but he wasn’t such a good person as to pull away anymore.</p>
<p>It didn’t make sense that he was who Luffy wanted because Luffy was the sun and Zoro was nothing but a man with blood on his hands and dirt on his knees. Luffy was the center of the crews universe and it seemed right he wouldn’t want anything less than another star in the sky. Yet here they were. Intwined fingers beneath kitchen tables, slow lazy kisses in the pale light of dawn. Casual closeness, a completeness, all their misplaced edges finally aligning.  He never doubted himself, but he doubted when things became too beautiful, too bright. Nothing in the world came free and he certainly hoped he has already paid his dues. Both of them. Tomorrow was forever uncertain so Zoro could only live now, hold on to the present for however long he could. Grip it was torn fingernails and fight the end until his last breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn’t surprising or traumatic when Zou shattered the dream to pieces.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The relief of seeing Nami, Chopper and Brook again was palpable in the knots in his shoulders instantly releasing. The air on Zou tasted broken, like tears and blood, tainted with sour bitterness of death. The uncertainty of not knowing what the rest of the crew had experienced in that place, crawled beneath Zoro’s skin, brought dread boiling in his throat. Seeing their faces, tired but otherwise okay, had brought instant relief. Not only in himself but for Luffy as well. Despite how well Luffy had tried to cover his worry, Zoro knew. Knew how each day wore on him, knew how panicked the nights got as they stretched on. There didn’t need to be words to see it, the pensive furrow in Luffy’s brow when he thought Zoro wasn’t looking had been enough. Happiness had returned to Luffy’s face right up until the first tear spilled out of Nami’s stricken eyes.</p>
<p>Not all worries were unfounded.</p>
<p>The reunion was bittersweet but Luffy wasn’t the kind of man to let that ruin it. The crew was broken so Luffy took it upon himself to put all the pieces back together, carry the weight of everyone’s troubles himself. He patted Nami’s hair, wiped away Chopper’s tears and smiled, shouted the loudest and declared that everything would be okay. Zoro watched silently from the sidelines, the only one to realize how strained the edges of Luffy’s smile was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sanji was gone. Had left. Under coercion but the decision had been his own. He had left some bullshit letter saying he’d come back but even Luffy knew that was a lie. There was no coming back from Big Mom. The situation wasn’t nearly that simple. The sting of betrayal burned hot in Zoro’s gut; disappointment weighed heavy in his stomach. Leaving the crew for such a stupid reason wasn’t acceptable. Zoro didn’t give a shit about Sanji hiding his past from them, they had messy things they didn’t talk about. It was the fact that Sanji hadn’t fought it, had rolled over and gave up. That shitty cook was a lot of things, but he had never been a coward before. Zoro wouldn’t forgive him for putting that doubt in Luffy’s eyes.</p>
<p>He listened to Nami’s story and all it did was make him angry. Nami cried and asked for Luffy’s forgiveness, like it was her fault Sanji was gone, like she had failed. Zoro was going to kill that bastard cook the next time he saw him. Whether that was as part of the crew or a stranger, Sanji would have to kneel to earn his place back after putting the crew this.</p>
<p>They didn’t have time to go rescue the idiot, but that was what Luffy was going to do. Zoro knew it before Nami had even finished explaining. Luffy never let go of someone once he had them, and Sanji had been a part of them for a long time now. His absence left a weird gap in the dynamics, a space where there should have been a head of blonde air. Zoro definitely didn’t miss all the ridiculous swooning over everything with tits but the lack of cigarette smoke in the air was odd. He wouldn’t miss the bastard, but their usual dynamics in fights would be all thrown off now if Sanji didn’t return.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Luffy was going to Whole Cake Island, and Zoro wasn’t going with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its was a stupid decision, a ridiculous plan. They had to get to Wano. The samurai had a plan and a debt to repay, the minks had blood owed to them. No one could afford to sit around and wait just for a cook but that was what was happening. That was what Luffy made happen. It would impressive if it wasn’t so misguided. All the planning, all the risk, to save a man who may not even want to be saved. No one wanted to admit it, but it was possible Sanji wouldn’t come back. Now, because of a stupid decision there was a chance half the crew wouldn’t come back either.</p>
<p>Luffy and Chopper were the exact last people Zoro would choose for a stealth mission but since there was no way Luffy wasn’t going, then having Chopper to keep their reckless captain alive was the best choice.  Zoro didn’t like it. Anything about it. He didn’t like the idea of Luffy going into enemy territory without the swordsman there to watch his back. It felt too similar to last time Luffy had barged in to save someone and nothing about that was right. The crew was stronger together, separating created too many cracks. The idea of Luffy facing off with an Emperor alone froze Zoro’s veins, drove a knife into his ribs with worry. It was a terrible plan. Law had spent thirteen years devising how to take down Donflamingo and they all saw how well that worked out. Some thrown together half of a thought had no way of succeeding properly. Even Zoro, who rarely thought these things out realized how stupid it was.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t say that.</p>
<p>No matter how much he wanted to dig his heels in, stop Luffy from being an idiot Zoro could not tell him stay, couldn’t even force him to take Zoro along. He knew why it had to be this way. The chances of Luffy getting out without a fight were slim but if Zoro went along it would seem like a declaration of war. He understood. The threat of both of them, 820,000,000 bounty between them, would draw too much unwanted attention. That didn’t stop him from hating every minute of it. Didn’t stop some dark part of himself from wanting to grab onto Luffy and demand he give up the ridiculous notion of going just to ‘talk’ to Sanji.</p>
<p>He wanted to- wanted to force Luffy into realizing how foolhardy it was, how dangerous. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Sanji was nakema and until the words came out of Sanji’s mouth that he didn’t want to sail with them anymore, honestly, then he would continue to be. They didn’t give up on each other like that, especially if it seemed like one of them was in trouble.  </p>
<p>Luffy would sail out on the Sunny with half a crew, and Zoro would go on the Polar Tang with a crew that wasn’t his own. It would be the longest they’d be separated since coming back, the furthest amount of distance since being blasted apart. Zoro wasn’t looking forward to sleeping alone, to going weeks without hearing Luffy’s voice, feeling that familiar warmth at his side. It had barely been a week, but he had become addicted to the taste of Luffy’s lips pressed to his, the sight of flushed cheeks and secret smiles. He’d once promised never to leave Luffy’s side again and this wasn’t the same situation at all but it echoed similarly. The uncertainty made him feel weak and he wanted to pretend it wasn’t a big deal but he couldn’t shove it aside anymore. Maybe last week, maybe not.</p>
<p>He hated that this feeling was being forced on him, taken out of his control. There wasn’t anything else to be done that didn’t involve disgracing their crew. The whole situation sucked but in this he had to be first mate now, and Luffy had to be captain. This wasn’t a matter on how they felt, personally, this was a matter of duty. This was who they were, this is what they chose. Zoro had to represent Luffy in Wano, lead the crew forward until Luffy returned. This was his responsibility, what Luffy trusted him with.</p>
<p>So, Zoro couldn’t complain, couldn’t voice his own selfishness. He had never let his feeling for his captain come before his duty and he wasn’t going to start now. They each had things that needed to be done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you prepared for if Sanji wants to leave?” Zoro asked, the night after everything was decided.</p>
<p>Luffy frowned, stopped in the action of pulling his shirt off. His eyes were hard when they met Zoro’s. “Sanji won’t leave,” he said, low.</p>
<p>Zoro narrowed his eyes, fulling expecting that answer. This whole time he had known Luffy wasn’t willing to accept it, didn’t even want it to be mentioned. Zoro had asked before and had received the same but now in the privacy of their room he needed a real answer. He couldn’t agree to this shamble of a plan without Luffy knowing it could all be in vain. More than just Sanji’s future on the ship was on the line.</p>
<p> Zoro crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you prepared?” he said again, added iron to his voice.</p>
<p>Luffy bared his teeth in response to the threat, clenched his fists. “He wont-“</p>
<p>“Luffy!” Zoro snapped and Luffy cut off with a click of jaws. “If that damn idiot thinks he’s better off without us, are you ready to accept that?”</p>
<p>Luffy’s eyes were wide, his lips pressed into a firm line that wobbled in denial. He didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to think about it because Luffy didn’t want to lose anyone else. In the past Zoro’s words might have started a fight; Luffy too emotional to let go and Zoro too jaded to back down. Neither of them was the same as back then though. Time had taught them both how fickle the presence of someone in their lives could be.</p>
<p>The memories of the last time they had this conversation played behind both of their eyes while they stared each other down.</p>
<p>Luffy squared his shoulders. “Yes. If that is what he really wants.”</p>
<p>Zoro frowned, “Talk to him.” Luffy nodded. “If that’s what he wants, do it properly.”</p>
<p>Luffy nodded again and Zoro let his posture soften, his face ease out of the harsh lines it had taken. Now that he knew Luffy had at least accepted the possibility, that was one worry gone. One amongst dozens. He took a step closer, closed the distance he had forced and ran the back of his knuckles down Luffy’s cheek. Luffy relaxed under the touch, both of them stepping away from their duty and back to being just them. Not captain and first mate, not Pirate Hunter Zoro and Strawhat Luffy- just Zoro and just Luffy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won’t be with you,” Zoro said softly, tipped Luffy’s chin up to see his face better. “Don’t fight Big Mom.”</p>
<p>Luffy chuckled, moved to press their chests together with an ease that was becoming familiar. “We’re going to talk and get Sanji, not fight. That’s why Zoro has to go with Tarao, keep him safe for me.”</p>
<p>Zoro scoffed at the thought of ‘protecting’ a bastard who considered dissection a relaxing pass time. Like hell he was going to bother protecting that jerk.</p>
<p>“You always pick a fight. You already did,” he pointed out instead and Luffy cooed, stretched up on his toes to wrap his arms around Zoro’s neck.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. If we have to fight Sanji will be there! And Brook and Nami and Chopper.”</p>
<p>Two of those names didn’t really make Zoro feel better about battle prospects but at least Nami would do her damned best to avoid a fight. Luffy, of course, saw no flaws in this set up and grinned up at Zoro as if everything was guaranteed.</p>
<p>With a sigh Zoro bent to knock their foreheads together.</p>
<p>“Try?” He knew there was no way they would get out without a battle. This whole plan was beyond dangerous and he hated Sanji for being stupid enough to think Luffy wouldn’t go after him. Hadn’t the idiot learned anything at this point? It was inevitable from the moment Nami had said the cook was gone.</p>
<p>Luffy’s hands cupped his face, traced over the scar on his eye, the line of his jaw. His smile was small but filled with the kind of devote affection Zoro was still trying to comprehend was just for him. </p>
<p>“I won’t fight unless I have to. I’ll be okay Zoro.”</p>
<p>Zoro closed his eyes, leaned into the touch, into Luffy, let warmth seep into his skin.</p>
<p>“I’ll miss you,” Luffy said softly. “You have to stay safe for me too ‘kay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Zoro muttered, momentarily struck with the thought of staying alive for <em>someone else</em>. It was a weird feeling. He was just getting used to it, used to this, and now he had to give it up.</p>
<p>For now.</p>
<p>A few weeks, a month tops. Then Luffy would be back, and Zoro could breathe again.</p>
<p>“You gotta go ahead. I’ll find you,” Luffy said, answered the thoughts written on Zoro’s face the same way he always had. It was that declaration of words, intent spoken and given life- impossible not to come true. Luffy casually bending the world to his will. Truth. Zoro smiled.</p>
<p>“I’ll be waiting.”</p>
<p>Luffy laughed softly against his lips, pressed a silent promise there.</p>
<p>
  <em>I love you, I’m here. Always.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He would have Luffy, forever. Be together forever; however long their lives managed to last. He knew that now; was certain of the fact more than anything else in the world. At the end, whatever end may come, they would be there together. Would stand and greet their last sunrise one day, together. Nothing could destroy that; nothing could take that certainty away from him. It was a knowledge that went even deeper than primal, beyond instinctual, something carved into the marrow of his bones and held with the kind of certainty he maybe should have feared. But he didn’t. How and where they stood may change, distance or circumstances may come and go but it was all the same, in the end. Luffy was all of Zoro’s beginnings, and perhaps Zoro had been some of his too. It only seemed right that after all the beginnings they walked together that the end would be the same. He couldn’t fear that. Rather, the idea of one last mad adventure together made him smile, feel the familiar burn of anticipation in his chest because if beginnings with Luffy felt this way then an ending had to be twice as spectacular.</p>
<p>A bang. A flash of light, of crimson and sun and laughter and smiles, smiles smiles.</p>
<p>However long forever lasted, however far they went, no matter what promises, or words went said or unsaid none of it mattered. Zoro would have Luffy forever and Luffy, forever, completely, wholly, in any and all ways, would have Zoro.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>[The End: The Dawn that Rises Bloody]</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Holy snap.<br/>We did it. Everyone I do not even know what to say right now, its like midnight and I just finished writing this and I may or may not be crying because ITS DONE! Just. Damn. I really can't believe it. This story started with UALD and a mess of feels and now we're here.<br/>I'm sorry this took so long to post but I think I gave myself stage fright when the words "the end" popped up in my brain. I panicked. I think I'm satisfied with this? I hope to god this ending is everything you have been waiting for.<br/>I need you all to know, my amazing beautiful readers, that I would not have made it this far without you. Every kudo, sub, and comment was literally the only thing that kept me opening my word doc and staring at it until something squeezed out of my brain. I couldn't have done it without you so thank you, thank you, thank you. You're words have meant so much to me and I can never express my gratitude enough. <br/>Special shout out to Tanniri for the line "some things were more important than self-pride" :) you inspired that whole paragraph.<br/>Again, thank you all for reading, for waiting, and following this story for so long. If there's anything I forgot about or if you just wanna cry about feels please feel free to comment.<br/>I love you, you're beautiful.<br/>-M</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you want, I made a curiouscat<br/>https://curiouscat.qa/BasicallyACat<br/>Talk to me :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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